Tuesday, April 10, 2012

On dieting

I'm terrible about following doc pirate's orders. I guess I should start this post with that.

Since I had a couple of strokes and some other pretty serious medical stuff happened, I do spend more than the average bean's amount of time hanging out in the doc's office. He has wanted x-rays on my abdomen and some other tests for...like ever.

I haven't done them. I will be honest. I suck at following orders.

Right now, I have asked the doc to help me dump some of the excess weight that I put on in a neat combo of sick and working desk jobs for awhile. I am pretty sure I am not going to get back the fab bod that I started with (7lbs 2oz... I was adorable) but I wouldn't mind wearing jeans that weren't big enough for a family of four to camp in.

A friend sold me an exercise bike cheap (Thanks, Sue!!) and I have been using it. Doc wants me to hit certain pulse rates and then drop down (140-160 for 15min, then drop back down...slowly...) and to try to cut out most things white from my diet.

Fat kids like sugar. Just sayin. I drink most of my calories in coffee...and I am terrible about remembering to eat more than once a day. These things combine to really mess with dieting.

We also discovered I am lactose intolerant. Yeah, those years when I snarked when my sister wasn't supposed to drink milk? Fate is laughing her ass off about that.

So far, the dieting has been slow so I asked the doc about meds to help...he said nope. We are doing this au natural. I asked about juicing. Again, doc shook his piratey head at me. No juicing for me. Apparently there is a lot of medical stuff I can muck up in my already broken bod and extreme stuff is out.

Lucky for me, so is jogging for the moment. So, he didn't say ALL bad stuff.

I'm fitting in jeans that were tight or didn't fit at all in my khaki hell office days. So the diet he put me on is working.

It is just so damn slooooow. Everyone else has these fabo numbers to boast when they are dieting and mine is just...W00t! Lost 5lbs.

Yeah, hard to be thrilled about 5lbs.

He says this is good stuff. Slow weight loss tends to stay off.

*grumbling from me*

Not to mention that I don't as a general rule care for rabbit food. I know, I know...some of you really like rabbit food.

I am not one of those people. I am a foodie. I love the textures, the flavors exploding in my mouth...rinsing it all down with something decadent.

Will I magically become one of those rabbit food grazers? Yeah, probably not.

But I am making efforts to try. My mom getting sick has helped some. Helping her watch what she puts in her mouth and offering healthy alternatives has made me keep a closer eye on what I stuff in my face.

I guess dieting is like becoming a world renowned author extraordinaire. It doesn't happen over night. Patience is the most important part.

Still...wish I could be like the people on Biggest Loser who drop huge amounts of weight and then do a happy dance on the scale. But, alas, not for me.

I guess the point of this rant is, listen to the doc.

I'm tryin to.


  1. Hey, wait a minute, did I write this? It sure sounds like my life (but I'll trade out a stroke for emergency gall bladder removal). Weight loss blows - and yes, is very slow when done correctly. I've been working on it since the end of January and ... drumroll ... am only down about 12 pounds. But, 12 is 12 and it's 12 less than I weighed in January. Right? RIGHT?

  2. Exactly! I've lost seven total...
    *Halfheartedly throws confetti*
    Glad to hear I am not alone with my slow plodding journey!