Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Dating in 2012
Let's be honest.
There is not any such thing as dating anymore.
There, I said it. You're welcome.
What do I mean? What do you mean you don't know what I mean?
Used to be a man asked you out. He got all spiffed up and shiny clean, just so he could come to your house, pick you up and take you out. Once you went out, he opened doors for you, pulled out your chair and otherwise was a gentleman. If he was ballsy, he might try for a kiss. This happened a couple of times and then...if the stars aligned and the chemistry was right...a relationship evolved out of the dating.
Not so, today. Not so.
Today we have facebook, texting, and more social outlets than we could have dreamed of years ago.
Today we chat with a guy, text them, know more about each other than any other generation would have thought possible (If I can say I know what you had for breakfast and mean it...uh, that is personal, right?) but we don't know each other at all.
Those dates of the past? Yeah, most of them don't even need to happen. We either meet someone in real life or get into some sort of wonked out, pseudo relationship that happens online or via phone...and then when we meet all that personal knowledge is there...so we have preconceived notions of how we are supposed to act...(can't order the steak...he is vegan) and try to fit the right criteria and...
We end up being bigger strangers than we were when we knew nothing about the fellow knocking on the door aside from his name and the fact that Aunt Gertrude's husband worked with him.
A friend asked me the other day, while I was clicking away on my smart phone, if I ever put the damn thing away and had real human interaction.
I snarked, at the time, that it would depend on the person.
But should it? Have we replaced human interaction with games of DrawSomething and Hanging With Friends and facebooking...?
I'm lucky. I still know a few guys who open doors for you. I know...you might assume I would hate that crap. I mean, I can handle the DOOR myself.
But the thing is, it feels nice to be the center of that kind of attention. It feels even nicer when the man giving you that special treatment knows that you are an independent woman, capable of doing it yourself like you do so much else...but he just wants to treat you special.
I think that adds to the value of it, at the end of the day. That combination of respect/cherishing is something that stands to be lost today.
I'm hoping to save it...if only a little. One story at a time...