Cha-Cha-Cha-Cha Cha-a-anges...

I was thinking this morning about who I am today and how I got to this point. It is amazing, if you stop to think about it, how people can come into your life and change the entire fabric of who you are, what you want out of life, and how you go about finding it.

Not that they have the ability to change the core 'you,' so to speak but they change how you look at the world around you and go about getting what it is that you may not have realized you wanted.

I am not going to name names so if you were looking for some random episode of True Confessions, perhaps you should stop reading now. But there were two distinct people who have touched my life and helped me become the virg of today.

One was a man. Yeah. I don't use the word man loosely either. I don't know many 'men.' I remember that when this particular guy started hanging around, I wanted nothing to do with him. The timing was all wrong for a relationship and that seemed to be what he wanted from me. Also, he was NOT my type. At all. I mean... He was sort of a dork.

Perspective. That is another funny thing that can change. But I digress.

Anyway, what started out as something I didn't want ended up being a huge life-changing event for me. I learned how I wanted to be treated as a woman (I want to be friend, equal and partner and it really is possible to be all of that at once. I want to feel sexy and irresistible and be able to laugh with you. I want moments that take my breath away right alongside moments that I laugh so hard I can't breathe. ) and how I wanted to be looked at.

I also learned what it felt like to really lose someone you love. To have your heart break in your chest. But to have been loved well enough to have the strength to go on...
But with much higher expectations for the future. Never again would I settle for someone who 'looked' good enough to date. Never again would I settle for someone who 'kind of' got me.

Never again would I fall for a line of bullshit from a man. I had heard one actually tell me the truth... and I knew what it sounded like now.

So although that little relationship didn't work out (Obviously... I am single.) it changed my view on men and of myself. If I deserved to be loved like that once, I deserved it again. And if I couldn't be loved like that, I didn't want any love at all. It upped my standards. I wanted more, now. So without that relationship fail, I would have settled for shit my whole life and never known I was missing out. So even failure can be a victory of sorts.

The other really life changing event was a friend. I guess I never really saw myself as particularly strong or independent. I always had said I was, before her, but I was afraid to really be either of those things. I let people control me and figured it was better, safer, to be loved even if loved meant being controlled.

I didn't really get, before her friendship came along, that love didn't mean control. Love meant leaving someone to make their mistakes and being willing to pick them up if they fell. Not making decisions for them so they never fell. Falling is learning. Falling is part of LIVING. I was kind of afraid to live before I met her. Afraid to fail.

Then I met her and she was brave and sometimes bitchy and bossy... and I realized it was because she knew that even if she fell, she had people around her that loved her enough to catch her when she fell. I totally didn't have that.

Now I surround myself with these 'safety net' kind of people. And I keep away from those that would control me. Because I can see them now. I couldn't before her. And I try new things everyday. And I am not scared. (Okay, the strokes probably helped her influence a little... Hard to be a chicken shit when you don't know what tomorrow will hold.)

But I guess the point of this whole rant is that people come into your life and leave sticky little bits of themselves, their souls, with you. Even if they are gone. Some of these people make you weaker and damage you because the bits they leave behind are sharp and jagged and tear at who you are. Others leave bits that change your whole outlook on the world... Sort of like glasses for the eyes of the soul.

I would not be the writer I am today if I didn't have them in my life. I wouldn't be able to love as much as I can without them. I feel they made me a better mother, friend and all around human being.

If I had the words to thank these two people, I would embarrass them both horribly and thank them. Probably with tears in my eyes.

The best I have is to say thank you. Thank you for helping me see the world in another way.

Neither of them read my blog that I know of. So probably neither of them will ever know that I feel this way.

But it doesn't change the fact that they save me, just a little, everyday. And for that, I love them.

And I probably always will.

Holiday Extraaaavaganza!

The holidays are upon us. A time to gather family near and remember why you hid from them for a whole year...

No, seriously, the holidays are probably my favorite time of year. I used to put up seven trees. I have since lowered my cheer expectations considerably but I still love the smell of turkey roasting in the oven, the glitter of lights on fragile glass balls, the crisp whiteness of snow covering my yard...

To celebrate, Sapphire Blue Publishing has put all of my titles on sale. (Clothing Optional is now less than a dollar!) If you haven't read them yet, now is a super cheap time to do so.

I also had two books coming out this season. Writing as Virginia Ashley (My YA persona), I released Sleeping Garden (A modern paranormal retelling of the Secret Garden) in November. In early December, I have an adult title releasing (The Accidental Pirate). Pirate is a sexy story of love, the open seas and the kind of bumbling and dialogue I think my readers have come to expect from me.

But wait... There's more!!

I have wanted to say that since I saw my first infomercial. Sorry.

But there actually is more!! For the holidays, I am gonna treat you, my lovely blog fans, to a couple months of fun.

To start, I am going to do a week of reviews. I know, I have been remiss and neglectful of your book review needs. So I am going to play catch up. Some books you can look forward to?
Spells, Slots and Sirens (Anthology)
A Beautiful Dark by Jocelyn Davies
Sweetly by Jackson Pearce
Mockingbird by Katherine Erskine
And more!!

Aside from all that awesomeness, expect a week of blogs from the authors of the (coming soon) "Ladies of the Jolly Roger: Buccaneer Women" anthology from Sapphire Blue Publishing!

Exciting stuff, right?
Stay tuned...

Little kids

I generally say that I don't like little kids.

Okay, I confess, this isn't altogether true. I actually *hops into confessional chair* really like little kids.

I like to convince myself that I don't like little kids because mostly... I am not patient enough for little kids in large doses. The siren noises, the dripping noses, the ping-pong-like motion of a four year old hopped up on candy... Yeah, it frays my nerves and I find it easier to say that I don't like them.

(And yes, I am usually the one who gives them the candy. I come from Italian-American stock. My genetic makeup says "Feed Children" and since I don't cook- CANDY)

I do like children.

Today was a fun reminder of how much I like them. I sat in a car full (Five under five, if I was to make a guess) of squeaking, squawking toddlers and I had a blast.

I started by telling them I was really mean.

This had five sets of eyes trained on me, the adult, in nervousness. Adults don't tell kids they are mean. I modified this by adding, "Well, maybe not mean, but for sure, I am scary."

The bravest of the five, a little boy with huge azure eyes and a mop of dark hair piped up, "Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah. You wanna see my scariest face?"
The kids were curious. I wasn't behaving like a grown up was supposed to.
"You guys have to promise not to get too scared, okay?"
Five nods. Five wide eyes.

I crossed my eyes, made fish lips and wiggled my eyebrows up and down.
When I had finished I looked at five kids struggling not to giggle. "Pretty scary, right?"
From there, I had them.
I was the Jeff Dunham of the car. I was amazing. I was hilarious.

This is the true magic of children. With a little imagination, a few funny voices and faces, you can have them laughing and talking to you. Grown ups aren't like that. We try so damn hard to control that inner silliness, that willingness to be happy, that we forget to have FUN.

So this blog basically is me saying... Find your inner kid.

Let them out to play.

Make someone smile today.
And I dare you not to smile back when they do.

Oh, and for those curious, the handsome gent in the picture is my youngest when he was a baby. Pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself... which I just did... *shrug*

In my Mailbox!

I was very excited when I looked in my mailbox and saw a package from Nebraska today...



Something Sewn is the Etsy company of the fantastic and witty Anna Seckman. You can find her shop here. From mug rugs to quilts, she has a very diverse and unique product that caters to those wanting something fun and handmade.

Her stuff is not only modern but still different.
She makes these cool framed handprints so that you can commemorate that moment when your child's hand is so tiny... And for readers she makes one of a kind ereader cases. Check out her site.

For me she made... (and yes, this is perfect if you pay any attention to my blog or facebook...)
Coffee cup cozies!!
Here are the pics. They are beautiful. I am so in love with them that I couldn't resist sharing them. :)
Please excuse the fact that these were taken in my car... I was kind of excited to get the package... So I couldn't wait to open them...

Okay, I have a power point presentation to throw together. Hope you check out Something Sewn and Anna...If you read this... I love them and YOU ROCK!! Thank YOU!!!!!! <3 Sooooo Much!!!

New release!!

Nothing is more exciting than a new release!

Written under my other persona, Virginia Ashley, it is a retelling of Frances Hodgson Burnett's Secret Garden but with a modern paranormal twist.

Blurb:

Olivia didn’t plan to find her mother dead when she came down for breakfast. She never would have dreamed that the summer before her senior year would be spent in a house that looks like a museum rather than basking on the beach with her friends. If you had tried to tell her that she would instead spend her time gardening, trying to find out why someone would lock a garden and juggling two attractive boys, she would have fallen over in laughter.

But when her life changes in a heartbeat, all of this and more challenge this strange young woman.

Pick up your copy today!

You can get it at All Romance Ebooks here.

Or you can pick it up hot off the presses at my publishers website here.

You can also read an excerpt here.

Sneak Peek! Lips of Velvet ~Adult Only

The main character in my sexy new short, Lips of Velvet, Sandra, is all about 1950's glamor. She has the bright red lipstick. Dyed black hair and dark eyeliner. Nifty fifties horned rimmed eyeglasses studded with rhinestones and high heels. She feels very out of place when faced with the very modern and chic Lucy.

Lucy has black hair but hers is gypsy blue black, hanging sleek and stylish. Her clothes are very modern and she smells of Gucci. These two characters throw sparks the moment they meet.

In this sneak peek, Sandra is dishing to her best friend about Lucy.

Enjoy!

Pressing the cell phone to my ear, I tried not to sound desperate. “Advice! I need advice!”

“Let me guess… You are on a tropical island with a hot man who wants to have wild monkey sex but since he wants to share you with his equally hot best friend, you are torn on whether or not you are okay with having a threesome?”

Leaning my head on the cool glass, I choked on something between a laugh and a sob. Backing away from the mirror, I absently read the sign advising employees to wash their hands before returning to work.

Looking back to the mirror, I considered his words. Okay, a bathroom in a Waffle House wasn’t exactly a tropical island. And no, two hot men did not want to make a Sandra-sandwich. But I was conflicted about sex, so Cecil wasn’t that far off.

“Close, Ce.” Gazing at my reflection in the dingy restaurant mirror, I puffed a breath up at my lank black and purple locks. My nifty fifties glasses with their sparkling rhinestones looked cheap in the glow of the fluorescents and my eyes were probably over-lined in black. Who was I to think—with my weirdness—that I could do this? And why was I suddenly feeling so insecure? “I have a situation.”

“Spill, girlfriend.” Ce sounded interested.

“I am attracted to someone.”

Ce gasped and I could imagine him smacking a hand to his forehead in overdone dramatics even though he knew I couldn’t see him. Cecil Gregory was wonderful, the best friend anyone could ever hope for. He would go shopping in the smallest, dingiest vintage store… spend hours looking at fine asses… go to lunch on a moment’s notice. He also had overdone drama down to an art form. “Call the presses, dollface. It is a sign of the end times.”

“It’s someone… inappropriate.”

“Define ‘appropriate.’ Is he tall, dark and stupid? Is he super smart but his balls hang low and wobble to and fro? Come on! I am assuming time is of the essence or you wouldn’t have interrupted my beauty sleep to chat.”

Glancing at my hot pink watch, I saw that it was nearly three thirty in the morning.

Which made sense, really. Last call had been at two thirty. Then we had gotten in the car to get a greasy breakfast… “Time is of the essence. I am holed up in a Waffle House restroom.”

The knob behind me wiggled and, with a toe, I flushed the toilet and called out, “Occupied!”

“Oh-my-tacky-wow.” Ce didn’t try to hide his disgust.

“Don’t judge.” The alcohol that had buffered my thoughts was wearing off; leaving me afraid he would judge me when I told him…

“You wouldn’t have called me if you didn’t want me to judge. So, some guy you picked up at the bar took you to a Waffle House? Is he looking to score or is he a fatty looking for a heart attack?”

Blowing out another breath, I again checked myself out in the mirror. Sucking in my waist, I wondered if the fact that I ate a hefty breakfast after drinking heavily made me look like a fatty. Then again, I was already a big girl so it wasn’t like anyone would assume I was skipping any meals… “Not everyone thinks starving yourself is hot.” I reprimanded automatically. “Anyway, I didn’t call you to discuss social cruelty. By inappropriate I mean… Not my usual type.”

“Are you going to get to the damn point or beat around the bush all night.”

The reference to bush had a blush creeping across my pale face reflected in the mirror.

“It is a woman, Ce.”

Silence met my comment.

Then laughter.

“Well, it’s about damn time you came out of the closet."

Happy writing!

Include Me!

So you are sitting at your computer and racking your brain for something to write about...

Here is a short list of story starters:
1. A werewolf walked into a bar...
Trite? Nay! You can go anywhere with this! Examples:

a. Everyone else had better costumes. Feeling stupid and insecure, Jessica tugged at her sleeves awkwardly. She wasn't sure how anyone had talked her into this. Werewolves were soooo last year.

b. He was hungry. His suit disguised his nature but he was on the prowl...

c. The studio cameras rolled and the only real werewolf, the director, grinned at the irony.

See? You can go many directions with even an overused idea.

2. The sound of the slap rang out across the room, loud in the sudden silence.

No, you don't have to start with back story. Actually, DON'T start with back story. Ever.

If you can in anyway jump the reader into the action and spread the explanation out later, do it. Hook first, storytelling later. Don't info dump. Don't prologue the info dump. Don't.

Okay, this stuff can be fine if you are working on your first draft. Also fine for NaNoWriMo purposes... But remember, you can be bold.

You can hook em and tell em a story.

After are...
You are the storyteller.

3. Blood dripped onto the pavement. How did she end up at this point?

One of the few times I have found a prologue amusing was when the main character was dying right at the beginning of the book. Good stuff. Love it. Not every author pulls it off. I gotta say, me personally after reading a few chapters of Bella's saga in Twilight... I wanted her to die. I loved Breaking Dawn. The other three books... I kinda wanted Edward to eat her. That said, other authors did it well. If you think you can, do it.

Okay, I said it was a short list. How is your NaNoWriMo going? Are you behind yet?
;)
I am. Everyone in my house got sick this week. So we are running behind on everything. But... I have developed an overwhelming love for the nasty taste of cough meds... The pic above is me playing with my camera while my youngest and I waited at Doc Pirate's office yesterday. :)