Turn Me On

Yesterday I answered WHY and HOW...sort of...to why I write romance.

Today...We are gonna get dirty.

Yes, we are gonna talk about sex. Kiddies, now is a good time for you to go to your room and play video games while I talk to yer parents.

Okay, kids all gone? Everyone over 18 in here?

Good.

Sex. It used to be dirty to say it. With 50 Shades of Suck, people are obviously much more okay with talking about it. I have noticed this even in my small town...used to be that if I talked openly and honestly about s.e.x...well...people would laugh uncomfortably and turn red or change the topic.

Considering the people I was generally talking to were adults, most with kids or in relationships...blushing like teenage virgins when I suggested that they had bumped carpet pets at some point or another...uh, this was hilarious to me. I mean, here I am...one of the few people choosing not to have sex and I am more okay with talking about it than you...who regularly do the tangled sheet mambo?

This made me wonder how much they were communicating with each other. I really hoped they were talking to each other more than they were talkin to me.

But now...people talk about it. People have thrown open the bedroom door and discuss things that they wouldn't ten years ago. Which is great...and a lot of you are shaking your heads right now but let me tell you WHY I think it is great.

If we can't talk about sex, we can't talk about disease, health, warning signs...things that should be talked about. I have showed my kids the condom in my wallet (which made everyone have a good laugh at my expense because the damn thing had been expired for a year...shows how much I USE my wallet condoms...*sigh*) because, as I told my very embarrassed teenage daughter, if you are not comfortable enough with a man to say the word 'condom' or discuss birth control and stds...he really should not be putting his hands on ANYTHING that is normally covered by clothes.

Not a bad rule, really. If you can't discuss condoms, should his tongue be down your throat? If the mention of a condom makes you turn fifty shades of red (y'see what I did there? lol) then perhaps you are not mature enough to bump fuzzies.

I mean...communication is really important stuff. If you don't have that...do you want to frolic in the garden of naked applause? Uh, no. You shouldn't. Something is very wrong.

I wrote a story that was kind of centered on that ability to communicate...actually, most of my characters show it at some point or another. I admit, this is intentional.

Because...secret? Do you want to know what really...really...really turns me on?

Someone who listens. Someone who doesn't just hear the words coming out of your mouth but understands you.

Is there anything sexier than that?

Okay, abs are nice but I still think the listening thing is sexy as hell.

What turns you on? (Okay, why do I think SOMEONE is going to write whipped cream?)

Happy Writing!

Delayed gratification...

This week, in honor of Nanowrimo, I have been doing posts that have to do with writing. Yesterday, we had writing sex scenes.

Today is somewhat related but not exactly...

Sexual tension.

The words, when said slow enough, almost suggest what it is.

In a society that is riddled with instant gratification (Netflix was not around when I was a kid. Nor was Starbucks. It was a harsher time, altogether.) the stories that seem to really capture the largest portion of the public are full of unfulfilled sexual tension. Scully and Mulder had it. Bones has it. Twilight had it... sort of. Castle may have perfected it and don't get me started on Haven...

Why are people so interested in watching/reading about/seeing people NOT do it?

The Hunt
Did you know that there are people literally addicted to the hunt? Once in a successful relationship, they will break up just to find someone ELSE to hunt? The body has a chemical reaction that is unique to falling in love. You can find an interesting article on the pheromone and endorphin release and such here.

The Chase
And once we have realized that we are attracted to this person, the chase ensues. Some chases are pretty short.

Example:
Him- Hey, how you doing?
Her- Let's discuss that while we are trying to get my bra back off the ceiling fan, shall we?

Some are longer... Some never end. The people around these real-life, long-term chases tend to get annoyed with the parties involved.

But in a book or movie, we are fascinated. Is this going to be the moment? Are they gonna kiss? Did she even hear what he said? *grabbing tissues*

So including this kind of drawn out relationship... that one where the reader never quite knows when they are going to finally see what they feel, really draws a reader in, letting them become a part of the action.

Jane Austen understood the power of tension. Regency era novels do tend to lend themselves nicely to tension but Austen may have written from experience. She loved once... and they never actually 'got together.' So she, possibly the mother of romance writing, lived her whole life single. Some say it is because of the one love she had was so great that she wasn't willing to settle for less...

Persuasion, her last completed book, was all about this... A couple, torn apart by society but drawn back together years later... Was she possibly thinking of the 'what could have been's of her own relationship?

The girl knew, regardless of if she was writing from her own experience or not, that people loved to read about the unfulfilled passions...

In my Odd Stuff Series, Janie wants what she thinks she should want- Vance. He is rockstar hot, with vampiric reflexes and hair like a sheet of liquid night.

But what she needs is Chance. Chance doesn't put her on a pedestal. He sees her for what she is, good and bad, not what she wishes she was. They spend two books bouncing off each other, scenes riddled with tension, as they figure out how to deal with one another.

And readers loved it.

What movies/tv/books have you seen with tension and do you write it into your own work?