Thursday, February 2, 2012
What are your plans for Valentine's Day, Virg?
Well, I thought I would honor a thousand year old tradition and have sex. You see, Valentine's Day was originally a pagan holiday based on fertility. To be really specific, it was based on the Roman holiday of Lupercalia. Men would run down the street naked... there was hopes that the fertile would become fertile... there was worship of the wolf that suckled Remus and Romulus...
So, yeah, maybe talk some men into running around naked and have some sex.
No, really, Virg.
Okay, probably I won't do that. It is harder than you might think to talk men into running down the street naked. Usually they give lame excuses like, "It is Ohio... Our nuts will freeze off." Or even, "We could get arrested..."
So what ARE you going to do?
Celebrate in true Hallmark fashion. You know, buy lots of chocolates, cards, flowers that will be dead or eaten in a week... Give them to men who won't run naked through the streets for me (suggesting that their devotion isn't as grand as the card claims it is...), stuff like that.
I still think you are lying to me.
Okay. Busted. I don't actually celebrate Valentine's Day. My first date ever was on Valentine's Day and it was the best date anyone can ever have. Since then, nothing wonderful has ever come of Valentine's Day (most of them have actually sucked pretty hard, to be honest.) So I will probably do my best to pretend the day doesn't happen.
But what about that special someone?
Back up, Jack. I have three special someones. And I don't have to give any of the three a chocolate heart to prove that they are tops with me. You celebrate your pagan holiday renamed after a saint (or three... we aren't sure.) your way, I will celebrate mine my way.
Nah. But I thought this would make for a funny blog. I mean, it is VD. As a romance author I am supposed to (I am pretty sure there is a law somewhere) wax sentimental.
Instead, I am breakin all the rules. Cuz that is how I roll.
Yeah, strike that. I am not cool enough to say 'that is how I roll.' Or maybe I am. Does anyone still say that?
(Oh and the pic is Alexander the Great, taken at Cleveland Museum of Art for those of you who wonder about that sort of thing.)