Thursday, February 16, 2012

Are you afraid of the Doc?

I don't know that I have always been afraid of doctors.

Actually, I don't think I was as a child. I remember I once went to the doctor because I had been complaining of a stomach ache. When I told the doctor I was pregnant (at probably age 7), my mom was very annoyed.

But at some point in my life, I realized that:

A. Doctors can't fix anything. More people die in hospitals than anywhere else.

B. They like to chop shit off you.

C. They are horrifying.

There is something utterly creepy to me about emotionless, robotic medical staff poking and prodding you in places that no one should poke or prod. And then, to ratchet up the horror a notch, when you scream out in agony, their only response is, "Hang on. Almost done."

It is little better than torture. And the devices they use... needles, scalpels, probes... Gah! It is a freaking horror flick inside every scarily sterile doc office in the world!! Don't get me started on hospitals...

And all of it, as I said, in a place that is almost scarily sterile. And yet not if you think about blood spatter, germs, did they wipe the counter down after the last person was in here with the plague or god knows what...?

The only reason I EVER agree to see doc pirate (my doc for over a decade) for myself is that he is human and talks to me and knows me (and knows that by profession alone I find him horrifying.)

The reason he is my doc now is that when he WASN'T my doc, I kept rescuing my oldest son from his circumcision. Doc Pirate was the doc on call. He came in my room and talked to me for 2hrs (part of which was while the actual surgery took place.) He answered questions, chatted, kicked his feet up on my bed and became a real PERSON. Which removed SOME of my emotionless robotic fears from him. Other docs and nurses... yeah, terrifying to me.

I can't be the only one afraid of the medical field that keeps me alive. Anyone else out there find them scarier than a King book?

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