Monday, July 11, 2011
Dreamers and dying
The other day, I was sitting in class and had one of those stupidly panicked moments when something awful feels eminent.
Being sick and having my chest burn has not lessened this fear any, to be honest.
The thing that terrified me enough in class that I very nearly walked out before taking my final was the thought that I was going to die. I am familiar with death. It's finality haunts me and -blended with the memory of those that I have lost- make me even more terrified of it.
But I had one of those moments in which I realized all of this had a finite ending. When you get into that kind of mindset, what does the meaningless monotony of life mean? Why am I not climbing Mount Everest while I still can or staying home with my kids altogether?
And what is it to die? On my facebook, I said, "
at 8:49 PM