Chocolate Chip Muffins

I woke up and made chocolate chip muffins for my kiddos today. It is their all time favorite Mommy breakfast. Since last night I made them taco lasagna and pudding pie, they are feeling rather loved. I am not known for my cooking. I am rather well known for my hatred of the kitchen and its return hatred of me.

Little secret about the well loved muffins... Betty Crocker does most of the work. I add water and butter a pan. But since it comes from the oven, the kids are impressed.

I called my mom in since the kids have not seen her in eons and she woke them to surprise them. They probably had the best pre-school morning that they have had in forever.

I did it for them and I did it for me because today I am supposed to go to school and have a meeting with the counselor, principal and teachers regarding whether or not to skip Jus a grade.

My daughter is thirteen and in fifth grade. This same school district is why she is in this position. On one hand, it would be lovely to skip as it would put her one step closer to the all important goal line (diploma) and I cannot make a 20 year old woman/child go to school no matter how hard I try. I realize this. And it puts her with kids just a little age-wise, closer to her.

But on the downside, she just brought home an interim report with three failing grades. How can I condone skipping a grade for a kid who is failing 5th? Will this not create a black hole in her education that will never be corrected? What is the right decision?

Is this an area in life where there is no "right" decision, just a gray area where you have to pick the lesser evil?

It bugs me that the meeting is in a few hours, and I, the parent who is supposed to have all the answers when it comes to my kids... who is supposed to go in there and advocate her in some way, does not have a clue what would be the BEST decision for her.

And if I make the wrong choice, I don't pay for it, my baby does.

I did not eat any chocolate chip muffins. I don't deserve chocolate today. I am chugging coffee and praying for guidance. I hope that when the time comes, the words come and that it becomes clear to me the path we need to take for her sake...

Unfortunately, there may not be a RIGHT path, either...

Edits for Siren's

So, I got my first round edits back today for Odd Stuff. Or at least the first chapter. It turns out my areas of weakness have not changed altogether as much as I had hoped. I still have passive voice and tense issues but I think the tense is due to the Odd Series being set in first person so it is easy for me to slip and think that Janie knows what other people are thinking even though she is not psychic due to the fact I know what everyone is thinking.

I have less "show don't tell" than I did in the last book and that is a good sign. Edits, for me at least, are a great opportunity for me to look at what I am doing and remember it and hone it for the next novel. Well, and tightening up the existing book, of course but still a learning experience as I go. I tend to push the story out in such a big long gush that when I go back and do edits personally, I am still to close to the story to see the flaws. I love having an editor pick it apart on a sentence by sentence basis and let me know where I slipped up.

I also noticed that I was giggling through my edits. Last round I was bathed in sweat and shaky and defensive. This round I was shaking my head and wondering how I had missed that and laughing at myself. Apparently, edits, like so much in life, are easier the second round through. I also am less touchy, even though this story is my favorite so far. It's like I know the end product will be worth it, so yes, please shine up my baby for me.

Can you imagine if you actually shined babies? My brain just pulled up a shoe shine stand with shiny baby heads as the end result. An oddly unappealing prospect... shiny babies.

Oh, well. Now that my eyeballs are bleeding and my yawns are punctuating the ends of each sentence, I think I shall turn in for the night.

Happy day!

Potato, Potaaato.

If you call a banana an avocado it does not make the banana green. There are times in which we put labels on things because it makes us feel warmer and fuzzier to have names for all of the things that surround us. That is a rock. Over there, that big thing... tree. It just makes us feel better about things all around to have comfortable labels on things.

If you put a label on a person it does not change either who they are or how you feel about them.

I have a potato and I am calling it a potaaahto and hoping that if I say it enough times it will turn into the other. But my banana is still an avocado.

This probably does not make sense to anyone but me. But if you see a better avocado, call me. Because I am tired of calling this damn banana that.

Guest Blogger Kerri Messner!!!!

I am truly lucky to have my favorite blogger visiting... Yup, you guessed it, Kerri, The Queen Of Random has been so kind to stop by and agree to a guest blog... Without further ado, Kerri :)

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Hello friends and fans of the totally awesome Virginia Nelson!

I've agreed to guest blog over here on her site because she rocks. She gets a kick out of my unstable (but fun!) mind, so maybe you will too.

Last year a litter of 5 kittens (older kittens) showed up at my house. They have been called the illegal immigrants ever since. Yes, I fed them. Yes, I know what happens when you feed them. I just can't look at hungry cats while I have a bin full of cat food. It seems wrong somehow.

The SPCA was called and they said they don't have room but they put my name on a waiting list. I tried giving them away to everyone. The cable guy. The phone guy. The UPS guy. The mail lady. Friends, family, neighbors. Everyone acted like I was offering them spitting cobras. "NO! No cats!"

So I just gave you all of that information just so I could tell you what happened the other day.

I mowed my grass and found an Easter egg. Luckily it was the plastic kind.

Ok, so it has nothing to do with the cats. So? Are there rules around here against that kind of thing? I don't think so. :-)

I do have a cat story though. One of the three females had kittens the other night. I watched, and was grossed out. I thought cats hid in a dark quiet place when they had their kittens. This one had them right out in the open. I knew she was going to have them at any point so I let her in the house. If she had them outside there's a good chance of not being able to catch them. You can't give them away if you can't catch them.

She purred through the whole thing. I remember giving birth. Twice. I didn't purr and I HAD DRUGS. She was purring like it was the best thing that ever happened to her. What a show off.

I hate cats.

She had 3 and settled down so I went to bed. I checked on them in the morning and was shocked to find out she had 2 more overnight.

I was ok with it when I thought she only had 3. It's not too difficult to get rid of 3 adorable little kittens.

Yeah, the whole experience has been full of suck for me so far.

We have one cat. His name is Bo and he was neutered years ago. (He still holds this against me)

So I do the right thing and get my cat fixed and I still end up with more cats.

Want to know the worst thing about this whole stupid ordeal? Of the original 5 illegal immigrants 3 are females.

Yeah, 2 more litters of kittens are on their way.

The SPCA still can't help. I really thought they'd be able to take these cats before this stuff happened.

My plan is to sit in the Walmart parking lot with all of these kittens the minute they're old enough.

I thought of making a giant sign that said "FREE KITTENS!" but then I remembered everyone acting like I was offering venomous snakes.

So I think the sign ought to say "Bring your camera, you will not believe what I have in this box!"

I'm thinking that once they see the kittens they won't be able to resist. They can run right into Walmart and grab all the kitty gear they need if they don't already have it.

This plan is going to work. This plan is going to work. This plan is going to work.

You're saying it with me, right?

I refuse to be the crazy cat lady. I have taken steps in my life that have kept me from being that crazy cat lady.
I can't lose that battle after all this time. I've worked so hard!

Actually, I just like dogs better. Most cats are boring. (Except when you have a laser pointer)

Have you ever taken a look at the cat toys in the stores? All of those toys are designed to drive cats out of their minds. Here ya go kitty, chase this fake mouse that you're never going to be able to eat...

If kids' toys were all designed to drive them out of their minds it'd be child abuse.

Here ya go kid, it's a swingset! But you can't swing on it, it's not real!

Maybe that's why cats are so snobby. They sense that their frustration is amusing to us.

They get us back though, oh yes. You know what amuses them? When they're in the litter box digging around and they fling litter into the next area code. They do their business and hop out with a stupid little cat smirk on their face. It's true. I've seen it.

This is the most I've ever written about cats in my entire life. And you were lucky enough to be here and witness the whole thing.

I apologize.

Kind of.

But not really.

I could ramble on all day long. But I do have things to do. Cats to feed...

Have a "free to ANY home" kinda day.

PS-It's not all bad. I don't have any small rodents within 800 feet of my house. If there are no small rodents, there's nothing for snakes to eat. If there's nothing for snakes to eat, it means the snakes are somewhere else!

Hamster Wheel Rant

Sometimes we get so caught up in WHAT NEEDS DONE and WHAT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO DO that we get bogged. You spend your days doing something along these lines (change it up as it fits you... no two puzzle pieces are exactly the same but the formula is pretty solid) :

You wake up to the buzz of an alarm. Reaching over and bitter due to the loss of dreams, you slap the snooze bar and wish you could sleep one more hour. That one more hour would make the day so much better. But you think..."I have to get up and go to (fill in the blank here. Work. School. Get the kids ready. Something along those lines.)" But what you want is that other hour.

Five minutes later, it buzzes again and you roll out of bed and head off to (shower, get the kids ready, drag on clothes, chug coffee... etc.).

Off you go to do (what ever it was that you had that alarm set for) and wish that it was your day off from (whatever it is you are off to do.) Unless you are a stay at home mom and then you wish for the weekend when things "slow" down. (They don't. That, too, is an illusion. You have to drive to soccer practice, cook three meals, get that laundry done you did not have time for during the week and fit in family time... so the "slow weekend" isn't going to happen.) You do it for (however many) hours and then come back and (eat, feed kids, do homework/help kids do homework, work your second job, etc.) and wish for the comfort of that bed you left.

Eventually, you get to go back to sleep and do it again tomorrow.

It is a hamster wheel. And at some points you afford enough money to buy (that car, that ring, that vacation, that thing...) you have been working so hard for and find that (the car requires gas and has high insurance, the ring is uncomfortable but looks great, the vacation leaves you more tired than your day to day life) so you get back on the wheel to earn (that other thing that is better than what you have.)

And while all this is going on, we complain that the weather is too (hot, cold, wet, dry...) and we wish we were (anywhere but here.) We are STUCK in our job/life/relationship and nothing can change that.

Well, nothing can't. Continuing to do nothing will change nothing. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. If we go by said definition... Are you insane?

Nope. You are just doing what you are supposed to. What is expected of you, and why wouldn't you when it allows you to "fit in" and be like "everyone else." What no one says out loud is that they are all wishing they were doing what they wanted, too. But they are afraid.

Fear. We fear rejection. We fear sticking out. We fear people laughing at us because we are different. We fear that we are going to be alone.

And so we make ourselves alone to protect ourselves from all of it. We become as beige as possible and fit in and wish...

Well, I love it when someone looks at me and tilts their head and says, "You're weird."

Why, thank you.

And all of this rant was brought to you because my baby looked at me today and said, "But I am trying to be like everyone else so I can have friends. People will like me more if I act like them."

I blinked and my heart broke a little. Can't people love him because he is the one and only Ash? Is that why Justice tries so hard to be a mean girl this year and last year she was a sweetheart? To be what they are "expected to be" rather than the wonderful people they are at heart just to "fit in."

I want a world where they aren't afraid. All I can do is continue to be very me. And show them that people like me as me and that you can be whatever you want and people will like you. Also, I have got to stop the "I am supposed to" mindset.

I am supposed to do what is right. If what I am doing does not feel/seem to be the right thing... then I don't have to do it. We only do what we choose. Choose wisely.

TV at our Home

We don't watch a lot of television at our house. Mostly we go on long rambling walks over the Ohio countryside and take pictures of the world around us. Or we are buried in books because I am a mean mommy. But what we do watch is usually programmed into the DVR and we watch it when I allow TV time. I guess it never occurred to me until today during Ashton's live lesson for homeschool with his speech teacher how random our tv preferences really are.
Steven Hawking has a new show on the Discovery channel. Being huge Discovery channel and Science channel buffs (okay, read NERDS), we are watching that series. We caught one this morning and will catch the other tonight... I promised. So he was regaling the teacher with Hawking's view of the universe and aliens... and that probably, mathematically, it makes sense that there is other life out there... and about the WOW signal. I was giggling. He remembered the Wow! signal out of all that. Pretty neat. Go Hawking.
He also was impressed that the guy cannot move and yet can think about such huge meaningful questions rather than sitting around feeling sorry for himself. :)
Then he went into a diatribe about Steven Kings The Langoliers. Oops. Well. David is really into Stephen King and do you know how hard it is to find a NOT SCARY Steven King movie? *shrug*
I flipped through the DVR. We have those, Dead Like Me, Glee, House, Vampire Diaries (Justice is just meeting the characters I fell in love with in the late nineties...) and Dr. Who. We have stopped Dvr-ing the Clone Wars because David is grounded and Ash is on Tech ban but could not so easily dismiss the new Who's. I would have had a full scale riot had I nixed Who.
I have a strange bunch of kids...
Man I love the Brat Pack.
Oops, time for another episode of Mythbusters... gotta jet (fuel).
See ya soon.

Stupid Commercial

So I was getting ready to write this blog and Glee was playing on the TV (first time watching it and it is amusing) and all of the sudden I hear, "Droid."

Since my phone says that, I pluck it up and start looking for the text message that obviously came in.

Yeah, the commercial was almost over before I realized it was the beginning of that stupid Droid commercial and that my phone had nothing to do with it. I love my Droid. I now hate Droid commercials. Faking me out and making me look stupid.

So the school poisoned David today again. I think they don't look at it that way because they cheerfully looked at me and advised me I needed to get another bottle of Benadryl for them because they have gone through a whole bottle by repeatedly feeding my child food that he is severely allergic to this year. Do you realize severely allergic means the kid cannot breathe if he eats the crap and does not get meds?

Hence, it is David Poison.

On that basis, if it was any other kid and they had given them, say, cyanide once... the mom would be pretty mad. But hey, mistakes happen. The school said it would not happen again.

BUT THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME THEY HAVE POISONED MY KID. I am beginning to think they are trying to kill him off.

Okay, I would save lots of money on Sketchers, but I admit I am rather attached to the lil guy. One kid is not going to their school anymore. They are trying to kill the other one.

Oh, and they lost Justice today. Then they called me up and asked ME if I knew where she was. Um. Well, okay.

Comforting, that.

If a doctor had a track record like that, he would have no living clients.

But there is little accountability at schools. They say no child left behind. I think they mean, "Except your three."