How to write sexy...

I have read that some authors write their sex scenes nude or dressed in something silky or lacy to get into the mood...

I have read that some 'experiment' to get an idea of what feels good...

I find that, for me at least, this is a bunch of hooey.

I was raised pretty darn wholesome. I have some very twisted ideas on what needs to happen before a guy can pass go... And the list is reasonably long.

However, writing sex isn't nearly as hard. I have never given my characters the hangups that plague me. I give them their own hangups. And this is how I establish what each ones boundaries are gonna be.

That figured out, I can then look at them like mental barbie dolls and pose away.

Usually, there is ice cream involved. And giggling.

And then I show the whole mess of it to a friend (usually my closest one... She and I have very different tastes in men and in bedroom play... So tossing our likes and preferences against each other tends to make for a more diverse and multitextured scene.)

Then I add more chocolate.

We try to think of all the things that we have ever thought, "Wouldn't it be cool if...?" about.
Then we add in all the things that we can think of that we either read or experienced. I clean the whole bit up and then...

Then it all gets mooshed up in a blob and I reread it.

I can't write while I am ACTUALLY turned on. I know this may work for some authors. Me, personally, no. If I am actually thinking about that, the last thing I want to do is sit down and type.

But if what I come up with is enough for me to fan myself and go, "Damn. Where did that come from... Wow. That right there... Good stuff." I figure my readers will too.

Don't be afraid of your couples expressing themselves. It is like every other scene you write.
And don't
DON'T
Forget to add the same snark and talk that the characters would have OUTSIDE the bedroom INSIDE it.

Have you ever even kissed someone with absolutely no conversation before, in between or after?

So how awkward is it to have a really erotic scene with no dialogue other than screaming someones name or gasping?

People talk. People banter...
They don't stop doing it because they are naked.

Most stories, from suspense to horror to romance, have a love angle. So most writers find themselves, at some point or another, with characters who want to kiss or do more.

Don't freak out about it. Grab a pint of ice cream and write.

Just my opinion. Best of luck!!

New release!!

This weekend marks the release of my YA Paranormal, written under my pen name, Sleeping Garden!!!

(Applause wouldn't be out of order, here.)

Olivia didn’t plan to find her mother dead when she came down for breakfast. She never would have dreamed that the summer before her senior year would be spent in a house that looks like a museum rather than basking on the beach with her friends. If you had tried to tell her that she would instead spend her time gardening, trying to find out why someone would lock a garden and juggling two attractive boys, she would have fallen over in laughter.

But when her life changes in a heartbeat, all of this and more challenge this strange young woman.

A fairytale told with a modern edge, this story is a retelling of the classic Frances Hodgson Burnett tale, A Secret Garden, but with a paranormal twist.

So, for you lovely blog readers, here is a sneak peek at Sleeping Garden! (The artwork, by the way, is by © www.JulieFainArt.com and you can see more of her work here. )

Excerpt:

The moon beckoned me, a luminary being, all alone in the darkness. I began to talk to it, the moon, the only familiar thing outside the window.

“My mom is gone. I am completely alone. Did you ever feel like the whole world has given up on you? And your life is over? Because that is how I feel tonight.”

As if in answer, a shadow crossed the bright disc of light hanging in the velvet sky.

As if posing for me, the shadow paused, silhouetted against the moon. Had I dozed off and not realized it?

It looked like a dragon.

Ridiculous, but that was what it appeared to be, and I blinked trying to decide what I was looking at. By then the image was gone and the creature had dipped back into the trees.

It couldn’t have been.

I sat sentry for hours but the thing never reappeared.

The dragon had been either a dream, a figment of an overactive imagination or perhaps the onset of some madness that would swallow all that was left of me from this dark life. I clung to those ideas even as I drifted into sleep with my head pressed to the glass.

On relaxation...

I am a huge fan of balance. I am also not so great at creating it. I think when I was born, they were handing out extra chaos and I picked up a double order.

So I tend to do everything to extremes. I am an extra large gal in a travel-sized world. I like to laugh. I like to write.

I work probably more than is healthy. 3am and I are just as good friends as 5am and I. I spend most of this time staring at a computer. Book, school and review stuff has me toss out the answer, "I would if I could but..." more than I noticed, lately.

So when I got a facebook invite to see a couple friends from highschool play at a local winery, I forwarded it to a good friend of mine. Honestly, from that point, I forgot about it. When I got the invite it seemed like a good idea and all...

And another facebook invite advised me that Saturday was the CD release party for another friends band. And a birthday party. I RSVP'd those, too. Probably I would have to bow out but...

Then Friday rolled around and the friend I had forwarded the invite to said, "Let's go!" And I went.

Wine, cheese, great company with the backdrop of music that was both familiar (the lead guitarist and lead singer were guys I went to high school with... We had spent many hours in the art department so I had heard some of the same music back then in a rawer, younger form.) and smoother all at once. I had a blast. Probably I haven't laughed as much as I did that night in a long time. Too long.

(here is a youtube video I took with my phone of the band)

And Saturday rolled around and I went back out with the same buddy. Funny thing there... If I don't spend time with someone for awhile, I think I convince myself that there is nothing to miss, after all. Which is bull shit. This was a very old and good friend of mine, at one point my very best friend, so I sort of forget that there are people out there that 'get' you. Like on that level where they know the ugly bits but understand.... Yeah, that good of a friend. So I now remember WHY I should miss their company.

Anyway, went out Saturday and had a great visit with my little sister. Her new fiance is with the band, Torn Days (check out their Facebook page here) and we hit their release party. Some of their lyrics crack me up and they have a fun style that puts me in the mind of Creed. All in all, a fun night but the fun wasn't over...

We then went out to karaoke at Pennline. I sang 'Does he love you?' and 'Jar of Hearts' and altogether let my hair down. (Or in my case, tugged it up so I could dance!)

What is the point of this recitation of my weekend events?

Make time for fun. Whatever your idea of fun is. There is no such thing as being too busy to sit with a friend and laugh. There is no such thing as being too busy to dance like you don't care.

You only live once.

The whole thing, while taking up a good portion of my weekend, added up to leave me feeling more refreshed, more ready to take the world by the horns and kick it's ass.

Find your fun. Take it. Make it your bitch.

That is just one writer's advice. But I am pretty sure I am right. ;)

Oh, and if you loved Matt and Shaun of the Shaun Easton Band, here is another video I took of them with my droid... This time singing one of my favorite songs, No Woman No Cry. Have a great Monday!!

Winner!!!

I am closing the contest a few hours late because... Well, to be honest, last night at midnight my eyes were burning from staring at a computer and making a blog was down towards the bottom of the list of things I wanted to do...

But thanks to random.org, we have a winner...

Congratulations, Anna!!

Now, I just have to dig around, find your email and figure out which book you want free...

Thanks to everyone for playing and hope you enjoy your free book, Anna!

*You can't hear it but there is some happy music playing and confetti is getting tossed in your honor... And since it is just after 8am our time on a Saturday morning, I am chugging coffee and waiting for muffins to cook and hoping the kids sleep just a LITTLE longer... In your honor!!! Whooooooo!!*

Aspergers or Hamburgers

I guess sometimes I get distracted with the many things that fill my day. Normal stuff... the day to day rigors of parenting, books, writing, school... And you forget to pay attention to the little things. To take out a moment and let the tears make salty tracks down your cheeks as your soul opens up enough to let the worries and fears of being a parent come to the surface.

The tv show Parenthood has a little boy with Asperger's on it. It is a really good representation of what life with a kid on the spectrum is like. He wrings his little hands when he is frustrated, struggles with social interactions and shines with that special little light that so many of these kids have. Every time I watch that show, I am driven to tears.

I have said before that having Princess has been a great struggle and sometimes a practice in patience-- patience with myself when I want to fix things and can't. Patience with her when she does things that aren't 'normal' and patience with others who don't treat her as I feel she deserves.

Today I spoke with one of her teachers and she said Princess was reading and comprehending on a 9th grade level. I literally broke down on the phone and cried as the teacher told me this.

When Princess tried kindergarten the first time through, her teacher was an ass. She literally told me in a conference that my daughter couldn't learn. I wrote a letter to the principal in response to this. I told him that Helen Keller could learn and she was deaf and blind, don't you dare tell me that my daughter, with all of her faculties in tact, couldn't learn.

But she struggled.

Learning to read took YEARS. Literally, I had read the flashcards out loud so many times that my youngest (no more than 3 or 4 at the time) would overhear us. So when I held up the A card and asked Princess what it was, he would reply, from across the room, "A is for Apple. A-p-p-l-e." I would look at her and wonder how the baby could get it and she couldn't. But it was all an uphill battle for her.

To hear from a teacher that she was now ABOVE grade level... I couldn't help it. I cried. It was so good to hear that all the time, all the repeating over and over... It worked. She had done it.

I have said before, that looking at your baby... Lying in that hospital bed and counting the pearly pink toes and seeing such a beautiful creature (she was born looking like she had been dipped in water before being handed to me... Not a speck of blood or ick on her. So perfect and lovely.) and knowing your child is whole and healthy...

To finding out years later that something inside her is just a little off. Something that you can't put a bandaid on or kiss to make better... It kills daily. I can't make the world be nice to her. I can't make it all come easy to her. Learning will always be a struggle for her and sometimes, when I learn things quickly, I feel guilty. Why was I given the ability to grasp concepts so easily and she left to struggle with every nugget of information? It isn't fair!! I would give it to her, if I could.

And late at night, when I am worrying the loudest, that is when I have found that I sometimes yell at God. I beg any higher power that might be listening to make it better... to make it easier... to tell me how to fix things and make the world okay for her.

But no one answers. Not that I can hear.

Sometimes this makes me feel very alone. Like no one would understand how much it makes your heart hurt to not be able to make the world a safe and lovely place for someone you love so much.

And there is that stupid tv show. With that beautiful little boy... and his struggles.

And I cry. Because I am not alone. Other parents are worrying the same fears. Other parents are struggling to do the right thing, make the right choices, not mess up too badly with the terribly wonderful responsibility that comes with these kids.

They see the world in a way that we can't. And if we let them, they give us little glimpses into their view. But the world is afraid of change and different. So sometimes people hurt their feelings for being special. Sometimes I say things and bite my tongue the minute the words come out but you can't take back the little things you say. You can't protect them from everyone all the time...

So the worry is there.
Right alongside the beauty.

Anyway, the point of all this was that it is good that there is a show like this. A program that says, "I get it," in a way that no amount of sympathetic nods can. I like knowing that she (and I) are not alone. That probably it will all work out okay, and if not okay, then exactly as it was meant to.

Today I watched an episode where the little boy was all alone and people called him a freak. I have seen this happen to my kid. But in the end, the people that cared about him were by his side. And she has been lucky enough to have a best friend that has been there since she was in 1st grade... who accepts her and her Princess-isms and doesn't judge her. Someone who doesn't give a rats ass if she has Aspergers or hamburgers... Who loves her for who she is, not the label that was stuck to her.

In the end, that is the most that anyone can hope for. Someone who loves you, despite what may or may not be true about you, no matter what. Someone willing to call bullshit if the moment warrants and to tell you to knock it off when you are being too weird.

Love comes in many forms. The best one I have found is friend.

Contest!!!

I woke up to find that Clothing Optional had climbed back to #4 for romance and hot shorts on my publishers bestsellers list. I also found out that some awesome reader from Virginia (the state, not me) had left this review on Amazon.com :

Clothing Optional is a short, hot read that pushes the boundaries of love. Virginia Nelson, best known for her Odd Stuff series, takes a break from the paranormal to share a story about three characters, who start as friends and end up lovers on a getaway weekend at a clothing optional resort.

Ms. Nelson p...resents this tale in such a way that it's believable for all three characters to fall in love with each other. Not only is it believable but she has her readers hoping for that perfect happy ending. Do they get it? Well, you'll have to read the story!

For a scintillating read, check out Clothing Optional!

So to celebrate all the love (since the book has been out quite some time, I am a happy author to wake up to this...) I figured it was time for a giveaway!!!

But I don't want to just love on Clothing Optional... I will let the winner have their choice of my backtitles (Odd Stuff, Siren's Song, or Clothing Optional) because I am just swell like that.

All you have to do to win your free choice is either message me on Facebook or comment below.

Feel free to share the contest with your friends. Best of luck!!!

On Scientific Discoveries and Edits

As some of you may know, my eldest and youngest are going to an online charter school. This means I get a front row seat to their educational escapades. Although this may not sound like the most amusing of ventures, I find them a daily dose of fresh and fun comments. For instance, today Princess was again working on her scientific discoveries time line.

Princess: I can't believe that discovering Uranus is a scientific discovery.
Me: Why not? I mean, it was important.
Princess: You don't get it, Mom. I just wrote : Discovered Uranus.
Me: Uh huh.
Princess: Your anus?! Your anus?! Someone discovered Your Anus.
Me: Just finish the timeline.

My son is working on a narrative essay about state parks and what kind of things they can teach us. He is focusing on our camping trips to Mosquito Lakes and things like owl poop.

Ash: I am revising my narrative essay. Is that like your edits?
Me: Kind of, yeah.
Ash: Except you get to cheat. They TELL you what you did wrong. Is there such a thing as an elementary school editor? And how do I find one? Maybe google?
Me: Your editor is you. You have to find what you did wrong.
Ash: Well, you writers are kind of cheaters, then, aren't you?
Me: *scowl*

Kids. Meh.