Dark, Damaged and Clingy

I just read a book that featured the kind of hero that leaves a reader a little bit in love and swooning... But in reality would drive a girl mad.

You know the type. Think John Cusack (no, really, think about him. purrrr) in Serendipity. Blindly and completely devoted to that one girl.

And you know you want to be that girl.

There are billions of books, movies and songs about that guy. Sometimes he is dark and broody and needs to be saved and only the heroine really sees him. Sometimes he is aloof and arrogant but under it all he is as soft and squashy as a bunny rabbit.

And I have fallen in love with this guy in fiction over and over again. Probably every girl has at some point.

I have also fallen for him in reality and the real thing... well, it ain't all it was cracked up to be on paper.

Dark, damaged and broody with single-minded dedication to you can also translate, in reality, to baggage, obsessive, and clingy. You will note that these three words are seldom used to describe this character in the movie or book forms... Because then women would have the good sense to be bloody creeped out. And I might also add, while I am splashing around in the cold water that so often is reality, that whiny tends to go hand in hand with clingy.

Think of the stalker song, "Every Breath You Take" by the brilliant bard Sting.

Oh can't you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take. I'll be watching you.

Okay, that is scary. Yet hot. Why? I don't freaking know.

In Odd Stuff, my paranormal series, I had a hero that was all dark and creepy and devoted... and I had a complete asshole. I mean, this jerk guy would come in, call things like they were, annoy the hell out of the lead character and then pop out again when it suited him.

He also, coincidentally, saw her for who she was, not some glossed over image of what he wished she was or who she could be.

In the end, I wrote her into the arms of the man who really saw her rather than the one who was darkly broody, came with a ton of baggage and would have stayed devoted to her for all time. I wrote her into love with the man who would never just do something because it was easier or because he knew it wouldn't make waves--Instead, this guy would go toe to toe with her and tell her what he thought regardless of the shitstorm that she would no doubt rain down upon him.

Because that is somehow hotter even than the dark and broody guy.

Now, not to say that I don't still fall for the bruised guy who needs to be saved... Just that with age, I want a little something more. And I think a lot of readers do. The book I just read left me in tears and a little in love with the hero... but in reality, I must admit I would have backpedaled like hell away from him.

So I thought I would point out--and understand this is strictly my opinion as a reader and author--that probably more women would fall equally hard if given a suitable hero. One who would make her pulse race AND her brain agree. What is wrong with a little logic in our love stories?

And remember... "Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'"--Erich Fromm

Oh... and enjoy John up there. I know I am.

Things Sesame Street forgot to teach...

Since I am homeschooling my kids, I keep thinking of what life skills they really need to learn to survive in today's world.

And most of the skills I find useful on a day to day basis aren't anything that they learned so far.

For instance (Yes it is a list. You know you love my lists...)

1. How to succeed at Farmville.

How many executives do you think have a Farmville that they are clickity clacking on while you wait? A lot. It is the new golf.

2. Eating fast.

Not fast food so much but eating while working. Eating while reading. Eating while driving. I have found that the older I get (and perhaps this has something to do with what I choose to do in life...) the less time I have to hork down a muffin.

3. Telling off traffic.

It seems to be very important to have this skill, especially if you are doing any city driving. Also, it is handy when you cut someone off. Telling them off makes you feel better for being so stupid. C'mon. You know you have done it.

4. Twitter and Facebooking.

Not playing the Farmvilles, in this one. I am referring to the ability to be interesting in 140 characters or less. Teaching a kid to write an essay doesn't help here.

5. Finding out.

What I mean is the ability, given a computer or smart phone, to find any random bit of data that may be useful. This is handy both at work (what was the gross national product of China in 1987... gimme one second... googleing... ) and at home (Depression book... um... Had to be Grapes of Wrath... C'mon... John Steinbeck!! What is John Steinbeck!! Ha! Told you, Alex Trebek.)

6. How to take rejection.

Also known as how to eat Ben and Jerry's.

7. How to walk out butt cramps.

With our increased age of tech and media, more people are making their livings clickity clacking away at a desk. Also, how to work out finger cramps. Handy skills and ones I had to learn the hard way.

8. How to avoid distractions like blogs, twitter, facebook...

Okay, I haven't figured out that one yet but I am thinking of starting a support group.

9. What antacid is the best for too much coffee and too little food?

No really... I mentioned the eating thing, right? Yeah. Coffee+Coffee+No Food=HEARRRRTBURN. So what works?

10. How to write a blog.

Because sanity is overrated but venting is good.

What things do you think kids of the future need to survive in today's high tech, low impact world?

Don't Panic...

Earthquakes rattling everywhere from Canada to the somewhat expected California have blasted through the news this week.

Hurricane Irene is blasting up the East coast, threatening big cities like New York and Boston.

Solar flares are pummeling the earth as the sun goes through her version of her monthly...

Mass animal deaths have caused end times fears to spread across the net and send biblical fears into the hearts of many...

2012 enthusiasts fear the end of the Mayan calender... which sparked a movie starring the hunkylicious John Cusack which is something that really gets my attention (So did Must Love Dogs, to be honest. He is yummmmmy)

So what does all this mean to all of us? Is the end upon us? And if so ... do you have your towel?

For those of you who don't know why you have a towel (tisk tisk) here is an excerpt from the book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...(Which "itself has outsold the Encyclopedia Galactica because it is slightly cheaper, and because it has the words "DON'T PANIC" in large, friendly letters on the cover.)

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.”

— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Get your towel here, emblazoned with the friendly words "Don't Panic." Thanks to my pals over at ThinkGeek for continuing to offer some of the coolest stuff around.

And other than that... Well, who needs more than a towel?

New Release by an author friend...

Lila Anderson’s is having visions of murdered women in the back alleys of San Francisco through the eyes of a man. She’s supposed to be a dominatrix, not a psychic! The man is Drake Bennett. Drake leads a solitary life as a vampire and when Lila invades his mind he wants her out.

Then a known murderer kidnaps Lila, and uses her life experience in bondage and domination to break her and turn her against Drake. Will the deep feelings of desire she has for Drake and their psychic link be enough to save Lila before it’s too late?


Buy your copy here.


And the author, Buffy Christopher, is holding a contest to celebrate the new release!!

Head on over to her blog, www.buffychristopher.com for a free copy of one of her Midnight books. All you have to do is leave a comment about the cover!

Good luck and happy reading!!

Disorganization is the key?

Jackson Pearce, who quickly jumped onto my list of favorite authors and blog/vloggers in the past year, did a vlog this past week called Life Fail. I will embed it below.

And I had a similar case of the duh's this week when I was working happily at my desk.

I was in the zone… writing away with happy clickity clacks and having the story flow like music from my fingertips. In a haze of happy artist, I sipped the sweet tea my kids were kind enough to pour into a mug from the fridge for me. On the second glass, I glanced into the cup for some reason.

And realized the kids gave me moldy tea and I had already drank a glass and a half.

It made me wonder, between my experience and Jackson's, if this is some kind of writerly necessity...

Maybe we have to have the ability to tune out the real world- to the point of dropping a couple of lifes little juggling balls- to be able to truly focus on the unreality floating around like thought flotsam in our heads. Maybe it is important to focus single-mindedly on our characters and our world and the plot to the point of looking like a bit of a space cadet to be able to craft something really good.

Have you had any experiences in which you flaked out on some of your real life?

Enjoy Jackson's blog:

Bookshelf Tour

VooDooBooks... Coming in October

Death By Chocolate

Missing in Action

I have been missing in action lately. Between the final week of my college classes and edits for Sleeping Garden, I haven't really had the time in my schedule to get on here.

So that you can have some idea what I am working on, read a sneak peek of Sleeping Garden here.

I will be back to blogging next week. Or perhaps later this week... However long it takes to have Garden not eating my world.

It was the hardest book I have written and it isn't editing any easier. But I am hoping that due to all that, it will be the best yet.

Well, until next we meet, Happy reading!!

99 mil lottery ticket sold here!

Some lucky person bought a 99mil lottery ticket at my local gas station. Since after taxes they will receive somewhere in the neighborhood of 50mil, I figure they will be stunned and busy thinking of ways to spend their new-found wealth.

Aside from giving a funny local author 1mil (ahem) I have a few other ideas to share with them :

Top Ten Ways Someone In Jefferson Should Spend their Loot:

1. Privatize the school district.

You know... make it not suck. Education gives children the keys to a future. Right now they aren't so much doing that. It is a long term solution to so many problems...

2. Create local industry.

Even if it is a button factory... We could use some industry. This will generate jobs and money regionally and therefore bring up the area in ways too great to be numbered.

3. Build a cyborg.

Okay, just because you can. Oh, and maybe a time machine. You know, the cool shit.

4. Build an entire village out in the forest...

Think Robin Hood... but here. Aside from being a cool ass tourist attraction, you could rent them out (I want one.) and it would then add to your wealth long term. And it would be cool. You can be that guy... the one who built a Robin Hood Tree Village!

5. Pass some stupid law that everyone must follow... or else.

Streaking Thursday or Stupid Hat Saturdays... Money talks. You should make one dumb rule. Look around. We are following tons of dumb rules already. Use your money and influence to make your mark.

6. Take me to Ireland.

Okay. That one was rather selfish of me. But I will let it stand as I still think it is a damn good idea.

7. Become Batman.

There is nothing different between you and he at this point. Tons of money... ability to hire Albert and get cool toys. You know you wanna...

8. Stop driving a car... You can now afford a hovercraft.

That says it all, really.

9. Buy a monkey.

Cuz haven't you always wanted a mon-kee?

10. To spur local commerce, just drop a mil from a plane on the town.

You will still have 49mil left and think of what it will do for local business! But call me first. And tell me where to stand.

Okay, I am glad I could help you out, lottery winner. I am sure everyone else is telling you to hire a lawyer and an accountant. Pssshhhhaw! Hire me. I will continue to come up with ideas for you. Cuz I am nice like that.

Sex for dummies...

Yes, this is an actual book. You can buy it here.

Forget the Kama Sutra... this is sex for dummies!! Even the most clumsy and awkward can learn how to...
Hang on. Really?

Yes! Really!

Okay, here we go. Top ten reasons why you need this book:

1. To find out what cytomegalovirus is.
Nope. I dunno either. Nor do I know why I want to know. But Amazon tells me that I need to know. Amazon would not lie to me. (Yes, I googled it. Lazybones. Apparently you won't get it if you avoid saliva-especially childrens- and wash your hand after changing diapers. And out of a hundred people, 50-80 have it. A member of the herpes family, it is usually harmless and symptomless unless you have a compromised immune system. No, I did not find out why we care.)

2. It will teach about male and female masturbation.

Again... Amazon says we need to know. Nope. I dunno who doesn't know how. Or how they haven't figured it out. But they can learn-- With this book!

3. It will teach you the "ups and downs of orgasms."

Which is good... because I didn't know there were downs.

4. It will teach you "many other very sensitive subjects--such as how to come out when you're married and have children."

How the hell did you stay 'in' that long? And if you have, how is this book going to be the thing that spurs you to do it? I love books but I don't think a book has this power. I think a good support system and counsoling would be better... but I am a negative nancy sometimes.

5. It will help with premature ejaculation.
You just hit your thingie with the book and away you go...

6. It will teach you to have cybersex.

Which I have to admit... I haven't figured out. Nor have I figured out the draw. But hey, even I could learn how!

7. This book can break the ice to conversations with your kids about sex!

I could not, in any way shape or form, hand my child this book. We talk about sex and masturbation and relationships... but I don't know if I want my teen reading about how to give a blow job. They will figure that part out when the time comes, I am sure. (No pun intended but sort of funny that it happened.) And the boys will figure out premature ejaculation... all by themselves. There is answering questions and there is creating questions. This book would create some that they don't really need to know until active... but thanks, Dr. Ruth.

8. It was written by Dr. Ruth!

So it should be in her cool accent. If it's not, well... I don't want to read it.

9. It will help you deal with impotence!

Which is on every commercial I see lately... So I am really not sure why I want a book about it. Are there really more impotent men out there than other problems (cancer, heart issues, dealing with mental problems)?And again, how does the book help, exactly? Shouldn't you see a doctor yourself? Unless, again, you hit your thingie with the book. I am pretty sure you can put off premature ejaculation and if it won't stay up... well, it will when it is swollen from whacking it with a book... I guess...
10. It would be an awesome icebreaker... According to Amazon.

Okay, I admit it. Putting a copy of this on my coffee table would start a lot of conversations. That does kind of make me want a copy. For the look on my mothers face alone, kind of worth it. But then my kids would see it and again... not sure I want to discuss blow jobs and premature ejaculation at length just yet. (There was another pun. Ooops...)

Altogether... um. Yeah.

New Release from an author friend...

Hell House : Vampires Don't Dance
Christle Gray
$3.50
ISBN #9781934657836
Buy your copy here.

Blurb:

Teenage fairy, Sora Starwind, is finally making her way in the mortal world. The guy of her dreams, Liam Crawford, has asked her to his school’s Spring dance, and she finally feels, well, normal. Trouble is,Liam has a secret of his own that brings with it a whole new set of complications. Not only does Sora have to worry about Liam’s friends liking her, she also has to guard his secret, and deal with the school harlot that wants Liam for her own. Add a pair of obsessed paranormals that intend to unleash more chaos than just ruining her evening and Sora finds her newfound control stretched to the brink. Can she find more answers than questions this time, so that this first dance won’t also be her last?