How to write sexy...

I have read that some authors write their sex scenes nude or dressed in something silky or lacy to get into the mood...

I have read that some 'experiment' to get an idea of what feels good...

I find that, for me at least, this is a bunch of hooey.

I was raised pretty darn wholesome. I have some very twisted ideas on what needs to happen before a guy can pass go... And the list is reasonably long.

However, writing sex isn't nearly as hard. I have never given my characters the hangups that plague me. I give them their own hangups. And this is how I establish what each ones boundaries are gonna be.

That figured out, I can then look at them like mental barbie dolls and pose away.

Usually, there is ice cream involved. And giggling.

And then I show the whole mess of it to a friend (usually my closest one... She and I have very different tastes in men and in bedroom play... So tossing our likes and preferences against each other tends to make for a more diverse and multitextured scene.)

Then I add more chocolate.

We try to think of all the things that we have ever thought, "Wouldn't it be cool if...?" about.
Then we add in all the things that we can think of that we either read or experienced. I clean the whole bit up and then...

Then it all gets mooshed up in a blob and I reread it.

I can't write while I am ACTUALLY turned on. I know this may work for some authors. Me, personally, no. If I am actually thinking about that, the last thing I want to do is sit down and type.

But if what I come up with is enough for me to fan myself and go, "Damn. Where did that come from... Wow. That right there... Good stuff." I figure my readers will too.

Don't be afraid of your couples expressing themselves. It is like every other scene you write.
And don't
DON'T
Forget to add the same snark and talk that the characters would have OUTSIDE the bedroom INSIDE it.

Have you ever even kissed someone with absolutely no conversation before, in between or after?

So how awkward is it to have a really erotic scene with no dialogue other than screaming someones name or gasping?

People talk. People banter...
They don't stop doing it because they are naked.

Most stories, from suspense to horror to romance, have a love angle. So most writers find themselves, at some point or another, with characters who want to kiss or do more.

Don't freak out about it. Grab a pint of ice cream and write.

Just my opinion. Best of luck!!