Sunday, September 19, 2010

20 Great Things About Dating a Writer

I first saw it on Robin McKinley's blog. Then Lisa Pietsch did it on her blog which you can view here :

But I can't let them be the only ones to do it. Here is my version of the now popular list...

1. Writers will romance you with words.

Well, since most of my hero's say romantic things like, "You reek," probably romance is sort of a stretch but I will barrage you with many words. Some of them may occasionally make sense. And if you have the somewhat questionable taste to date me I will leave you letters as to how I feel, at length, whether you care to hear it or not.

2. Writers will write about you.

Which isn't always to be desired. Usually, the bits I find bookworthy aren't the bits you think are bookworthy. But then, flipping through the pages of one of my books, you find your entrails dangling on the page. Sorry. You should not have cut me in line for donuts. Also, if we did that thing that time that seemed to be biologically impossible... yeah. Sorry. So using that in a plot.

3. Writers will take you to interesting events.

If your idea of interesting is sitting on my couch while I ignore you and listen to earbuds and click on my keyboard, baby, I got your back. Okay. I admit it. I do travel. But unless you are as nerdy as me, comic cons are not everyone's bag of tea.

4. Writers will remind you that money doesn’t matter so much.

But I will borrow yours. Because I like nice things. Very nice things. About as quick as I get money, it is gone. On really nice things. That I will share with you... if you are around so long as they last. Also, I will hand out money. Handfuls. When I have it. Because I frequently forget how much exactly I have. But I like good coffee. And I like good sushi. I love good chocolate. I like to travel and I like my tech fast and shiny. I also forget that I may want these things next week so I will be back to borrow more money...Because we can always get more money, but not always more coffee.

5. Writers will acknowledge you and dedicate things to you.

Especially the things I write that have you blinking and asking what on earth was she THINKING???

6. Writers will offer you an interesting perspective on things.

I have a tee shirt that says 'I'm not random. You just don't think as fast as me.' Actually, I am pretty sure I am random.

7. Writers are smart.

They left off the alec. Or a word ending in double s which was the first thing that came to mind...

8. Writers are really passionate.

What they mean is horny. Mostly this is because we have fantastic scenes happening on the page with dashingly handsome (insert beautiful for the male author) characters who we fall madly in love with but who cannot take the relationship to the physical realm. On the flip side of this, some days we are writing brutal murder scenes. This does not bode well for the nookie... Neither do fight scenes.

9. Writers can think through their feelings.

What they mean is we can tear our feelings (oh, and yours. We aren't circumspect.) into little tiny pieces and then take the little tiny shards and put them under a microscope. Then we process that data and every word you and we said (ever) and mush it all into a mess that generally has little recognizable form to the initial issue. So if he says I am pretty... I may hear and process any number of things. At length. For days. Then I write someone else dealing with it and let it fester in real life.

10. Writers enjoy their solitude.

True. I have a dream where I am a hermit... sadly, I am not. I love everyone. I just want them to go away for (sometimes days on end) awhile when I am midplot. Then when I crawl out of my cave, manuscript in my grubby palm, I want masses to swarm and tell me if it sounds okay. Nothing strange about that...

11. Writers are creative.

If by creative they mean can find a way to magically make coffee come to them when writing (train the kids) or fix things so they can avoid going shopping... yes. Creative. Very. Sure. I will take that. Not always a good thing. Some things were not meant to get creative with... Usually, I can find them.

12. Writers wear their hearts on their sleeves.

I am leaving Lisa Pietsch's answer because she summed it up beautifully. She said, "This can be a problem too since most of us are lunatics."

13. Writers will teach you cool new words.

I don't know if you want to learn them, nor do I care. But I used it so you should go look it up. And if I am blinking at you it is because I don't remember what I said. I am glad it was clever, though.

14. Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for you.

Especially if you offer to a. feed us b. buy alcohol c. read the latest thing we have written

15. Writers can find 1000 ways to tell you why they like you.

But we usually won't. Just thought I would mention that. Writers are notorious multitaskers, so we are also usually pretty double/triple booked. We are not, sadly, good schedulers as a whole.

16. Writers communicate in a bunch of different ways.

I am an Italian. Sometimes I even use hand gestures.

17. Writers can work from anywhere.

And do. Especially if you want me to be doing something else. Even more especially if the something involves manual labor...

18. Writers are surrounded by interesting people.

Sadly, most of them live in our head.

19. Writers are easy to buy gifts for.

Food is always good. While on a creative bender we tend to forget to eat and I for one like good food. I also love any good coffee, chocolate or alcohol as I said. And remember... I may need a loan.

20. Writers are sexy.

Okay. I don't get this one. Unless you find sarcasm sexy. If you do... oh, baby am I hot.

No, really? Did someone turn up the heater in here?


1 comment:

  1. "Because we can always get more money, but not always more coffee."


    Your version was great! I snickered and tee-heed through the whole thing. I even had to put my coffee down so I didn't snarf it out my nose.