Trying to plan a move and enroll the kids in a new school and giving myself a deadline of three days is challenging. Trying to find a place to move to in less than a week was challenging. Trying to decide if it was for the best was tooth shattering because my teeth have been gritted together for the past week solid.
But my dad is falling downhill fast. He is not doing well at all. My mom, conversely, is getting crabbier. I have not been sure if this was because of other familial issues that have been going on or because she can see dad the way I can. I am not even sure if she can see dad the way I can. I have the unique perspective of not seeing dad for days on end because of work and then when I do I see little things. He is a bit paler. A bit weaker. His skin a bit frailer. A bit more slow to speak. He runs into things with his chair. A bit more childlike and more easy to anger, to any emotion.
I can't leave now. If I leave now I am leaving them and knowing there is no way I will make it back to town before next summer for any length or duration of time. Between the kids school and my work, it just won't happen. Besides that, I have to move somewhere and childcare for work had to be set up. My roommate, doll that she is, is a teacher. She had to teach so watching the kids was out. So the deadline loomed then crashed down around my ears and I continued to cower, hidden by indecision.
Not helping matters any was finances. My car, not loving the 45 min drive back and forth to work, had a major breakdown. Then I got sick (do you think stress with my medical history is a no-no? Nah!) and missed a week of work I could not afford. I am still wondering if I am going to get paid for it. I am beginning to doubt it.
So there went my apartment budget. So it was easy to continue to sit in panic and throw my hands up and look to the skies and yell at God. I do that a lot. Not that he usually answers. Well, other than to make it rain. Or throw the occasional tree or tornado at me. (Not kidding. He has actually thrown trees and tornados at me. See previous blog for tornado and NEVER going to tell the tree story. SO not G-rated.)
Finally, my roommate saw that, I think, I was far too panicked to do anything to solve my problems so she became proactive (or realized that the solutions I was coming up with were so pathetic as to be completly disregarded) and found one piece of the puzzle.
She found a provider of childcare here. She found MJ. MJ as the kids call her takes the kids on walks to the creek and has taught them to catch crayfish (something previously only taught by Todd as I am afraid of the pinchers), and frogs and fish. She walks them to the library and they cheerfully show me the books they got. She cheerfully feeds them and tells me it is included so all I have to do is give them breakfast (one of the few meals I can provide without burning... I rock at eggs and cereal and bagels.) She finds Ash clever and is amazed at his intelligence. She has yet to call him a terror, a brat, an awful child or an absolute train wreck (words that have previously been applied to my youngest... no I am not exaggerating).
The other two love her as well. Justice is becoming already less girly and thinks MJ is a saint. David likes her sons and her pool. They are having a blast. Sentances are filled with MJ. They are cool with it.
So one piece of the puzzle fit. And the puzzle piece would allow me to be close to Mom and Dad for now. And I think I need to be. I think the kids need to get back to Summit... because Rock Creek is nothing on Summit. I know that is where they need to be for their education so my goal is tax time when the budget is better to get back to Warren/Youngstown area.
But for just now, one piece would allow me to be here.
But that meant I had one week to get my butt an apartment here, now, because Rock Creek said no intradistrict transfer so I had to live in their district. Now. Or rather yesterday.
I found one. Yesterday.
So today I have to pull all of that off. I have to somehow enroll and set all of that up and there is a wheelbarrel of paperwork involved and again I am cringing. I wonder if I can talk my roommate into grabbing one of the handles. *snort*
Realistically, it should go smoothly from here. Realistically and this county are not friends. I keep meaning to introduce them but everytime I try, realistically runs off in fear. This county repells reality.
Anyway, now that I have stretched my writing muscles and gotten all that is bothering me off my chest (hah! hardly! I could go on and on! We haven't touched on relationships, or Justice and boys or-shut up! Enough procrastinating!) back to Siren's. Vance just did a no-no and I think he needs spanked...