5. You won’t get lost.
I mean, there aren’t that many roads.
4. Everyone knows you.
If they don’t know you, they know a whole lot about you because they’re friends with your relatives.
3. When something bad happens, they rally around you.
Seriously, whether you want them or not, your freezer will be full of food and folks will be stopping by to check in on you.
2. There is a sense of history.
We relive our glory days as often as possible. So, well, you know that if the rest of the world forgets you, we won’t. We’ll keep your memory alive long after you’re long gone by telling stories about you and smiling in remembrance.
1. Crime? We don’t have a lot of that.
You don’t have to lock your door like those city folks. You can bet if someone robs you, one of the neighbors saw it. Chances are good one of the neighbors went ahead and beat them up then called the cops for you. Like I said, we take care of our own.