Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Mothers Always Know

I was watching Kathy Lee and Hoda this morning (something I do although I'm still not sure why every morning...maybe some remnant of my own childhood that says grown-ups watch Today? I dunno.) and they had a woman on who wrote a book called Motherhood Comes Naturally.

Kathy Lee made fun of her--maybe it was supposed to be funny, but Kathy Lee came off just a smidgen...*clears throat* judgy.

"I don't know why you kept having children."
"You couldn't tell a broken arm from gas?"

*clears throat*

Well, I think my previous blogs have shown I'm not a perfect mom. I don't cook, for one, something I've been advised will cause massive obesity in my children (none are yet, at 15, 13, 11, but I've been told it will happen.) and I also don't have the magical mommy senses.

My mom claimed she had magical mommy senses, you know, the ability to tell when something was wrong? I had two strokes and she told me to go to work because I couldn't miss for a little headache. Mommy senses fail.

My own magical mommy senses are a complete wash. I figured that out YEARS ago. My daughter
had appendicitis when she was nine...and that's supposed to hurt, right? Yeah, she showed all the signs of intestinal flu. Nausea, diarrhea...and she said her belly hurt. Well, if you're spouting fluids from both ends, your tummy does hurt. I gave her ibuprofen and a teddy bear and she felt better. OBVIOUSLY not something serious, right?

Took her to the docs and they said to go up to the hospital and get checked--to verify it wasn't appendix. The hospital basically laughed it off. "If it was her appendix, she'd be in major pain."

Yeah, I thought, standing in my uniform for work, that's what I thought. But, hey, they could give her meds for the nausea, throw her on a banana bag, and she'd feel better.

They tested white blood cells, which should be through the roof for appendix. It came back low, if anything, but we'll do another test. By then, she's dozing and I figure that's the meds working/fluids...sleep is good.

They tested c-cells. Inconclusive.

They decided to do another test and actually look inside her. I roused her, made her drink the stuff they needed for the test, let her go back to drowsing and waited. We did the test, she went back to sleep. I stared at my watch, imagining the bills that wouldn't get paid this week because of this little visit...

A man walked in, carrying a clipboard. He looked a lot like Colonel Sanders. The chicken guy? I will always remember Colonel Sanders' words. "Do you want Rainbow Babies or Cleveland Clinic?"

Me, "For what?"
The King of Chicken, "To transfer to on the life flight?"
Me, "For the flu?"
Colonel Sanders shifts and looks uncomfortable. "For the emergency surgery?"
Me, "Do you have the right room?"
Colonel Sanders, "Didn't they tell you? Your daughter's appendix is gangrene. They have to do emergency surgery. Her immune system has shut down, her digestive system shut down, and her nervous system is in distress. She needs surgery--tonight!"

Me, "Uh..."

My mommy senses didn't know ANY of that. Now, every time she gets the flu, she asks me if her appendix ruptured again. And the boys get rushed to the hospital EVERY time they get the flu. Just in case. Because I'm not psychic, apparently.

(As to the emergency surgery? Yeah, Colonel Sanders was wrong. Rainbows didn't hack open my child in frantic panic. Weeks, for the whole process, but she's fine.)

So, well, the point of this rant is, Kathy Lee...don't be judgy. I'm a good mama and that woman with the funny book looked like she might be, too. It doesn't mean we're all psychic. Sometimes Mommy-dar goes off and it's just a fever. Sometimes it doesn't go off and it's a broken arm or an exploded appendix.

This doesn't mean you're a bad mom. It means you're human, you try your hardest, but sometimes you make mistakes.

Mother's don't always know. But the good ones? They try. Which is even better than knowing, in my opinion.


  1. I completely agree with you. I think too many people have a tendency to judge how other people raise their children. Maybe because it's different than their own method--or how they were raised. *shrugs* but the point is that if you try and you love your kids, then you are a good mom(or dad).

    *And yes, you are a good mom with great kids.

  2. Great post! It's good to be reminded of this from time to time. I felt like the world's worst mommy when my youngest was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I had been blowing off all the symptoms as individual issues with no clue they were collectively symptoms for diabetes. Finally her teacher called and said there might be a problem. Realizing her teacher recognized what I didn't really made me feel horrible. But with three other kids and working full time at that time I can see now I did what I could with the knowledge I had.