Funny Things Kids Say- Christmas Edition

Snow is falling with a gentle pitter patter outside that sounds like the whole world is saying, "Hush!" Even me, who has a very strong love-hate relationship with the white stuff, can't help but see it and think of Christmas.

Not that I have gotten any of my decorations up yet. This is the oddball year all around. Where usually my decorations go up the day after Halloween, this year I told the kids we were cleaning the attic first...

So it is the day before December hits and still no tree.

But this hasn't stopped the kids from getting in the spirit of things. They made letters to Santa last night.

Previous years have gotten me some memorable letters to the fat red home invader. For instance, David one year asked Santa to help his grandpa walk again (the year my dad had his stroke) and last year David asked for cornbread. After opening an amazing amount of presents (including things like a telescope...) David still looked sort of sad and lost. I asked him what was wrong.

"Santa forgot the cornbread."

So I know when the letters come out that I am in for a giggle.

This year, JFAB asked Santa to send one of his evil elves (Who knew he had evil elves?) to come down and take care of the dog that keeps crapping on her bike. Y'see, as she explained to the man in red, she knows it isn't her dog doing it. The crap is the wrong size.

(She also asked for a new house for her mom because her mom needed a study and an ipad. Smart kiddo, that one.)

Justice asked for a spiked leather collar, a flaming skull hoodie and a skirt with skulls on it. The scary child doesn't fall far from the scary tree?

Ash wrote this:

Dear Santa,
Can you please get me some stuff please? You do not have to but it would be really nice if you did. Here is a list if you would like to/
1. Lego's (any kind but I suggest the big stuff)
2. Amazon Kindle (Note from mom: Yes, he wrote Amazon. Smart shoppers, my kids)
3. PSP
4. PSP games
5. Sonic Screwdriver
6. Webkinz
7. Diary of a Wimpy Kid books (Look at my shelves and not those ones.)
8. Lego Dr. Who Tardis
9. Phineas and Ferb Soundtrack and Movie
10. Acen Figures (Mom translation: Action figures)
Thank you, your friend and believer
Ashton
(And then he drew a cartoon at the bottom with Santa, a tree and Santa is telling the kids to have a good day. Less disturbing than JFAB's sunbathing hairy Santa on vacation after Christmas...)

David cracked me up, as usual.
David's Christmas List (This was the header on the page)
1. Amazon Kindle
2. Slappy (mom note: this is a ventriloquist dummy from Goosebumps books)
3. Sonic screwdriver (11th Doctor)
4. Legos (any)
5. Comic books (any Marvel)
6. Walking Dead comics
7. Diary of a Wimpy Kid (last straw)
8. Freddy Kruger Figure
9. Origami book
10. Scary books on Kindle (Stephen King)
11. Bakugon
Merry Christmas Santa. Tell the elves hi and say hi to the halflings if they exist. Have a nice day and don't hurt yourself on the way down.
Sincerely,
David
P.S. Please send a letter back explaining how you go down the chimney please!!!
(Below all this there is a cartoon with an elf yelling ABORT ABORT!! We got A WAKER!! and a child with eyes literally popping from his head screaming AHHHH THERE IS A MAN IN MY CHIMNEY!! while Santa's butt is sticking out of a chimney with the words HO HO HO floating down in a cartoon bubble. The whole scene is made merry with a tree topped with a star.)

All in all... I love kids and Christmas.
Happy Holidays all. And may your kids amuse you as much as mine do me.