Lifestyles of the Not Rich and Somewhat Famous!

Okay, I'm admittedly old. Because of that, I remember as a kid watching episodes of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, hosted by Robin Leach.

Real life and that life are two very, very separate entities. But, probably due to Romancing the Stone (Joan Wilder, I love you), being a romance author always sounded like a really glamorous life to me. Something that Robin Leach could totally report about.

In reality, last night I came home from school pink and itchy. I'm not sure WHAT I was reacting to, but something had my allergies in a tizzy. My eyes were even poofy.

So, I popped Benadryl, fell into a coma and woke before the alarm today. (I missed entirely everything that happened last night...)

My son then cheerfully handed me a ream of paper, all of which required my autograph (glam!) and money.

Eighty-six dollars, to be exact. While rummaging through the ream and trying to make my coffee-less brain focus on what he'd shoved at me, I noticed one of the papers meant pictures were today.

"Today?! The pictures are today? Quick, find a button down shirt or something not icky!"

After the ensuing argument, I realized I needed to give the school $21 for school pictures if I wanted to see how handsome my son was at the ripe old age of thirteen.

Besides that, they wanted $15 for a Chromebook. Apparently the school has decided to go paperless within the next two years and my son's class is the trial run for this project. So, they're assigning each student a ChromeBook.

Glancing up, I looked at the two computers provided by the online school that my older kids attend. I didn't have to give their school $15--they simply used the federal monies provided to the school to purchase computers for them to use. Also, a paperless school?

Basically, the district wants me to give them $15 so that my brick and mortar kid can go to an online school in a building?

Mmhhmkah, whatever, I gave them $15 for that.

Then there was another paper with the $50 pay-to-play so my kid could participate in a school sport. Gritting my teeth, I remembered again that the federal government has given our district monies for things like sports...and band, which they fail to fund properly...and art...and, Oh, don't get me started on the mismanaged budget in school systems or the state of the art sports complex which means I get to hand over $50 for my kid to be in the sport, not to mention the other money they're going to ask for because he is in a sport and...

Eh, whatever. Okay, $86 dollars so my kid can go to school today. That's cool.

I then headed downstairs to see no one did their chores, but man did they have a good night while Mommy was in an allergy coma. "You're cleaning that up, preferably before I get back home, right?" I asked my older two. Like zombies recently awakened from the grave, the teenagers dragged themselves out of bed and began to fix the mess.

Buzzing along on my way to school, the gas light came on in the car (ca-ching!) and I reminded myself that my birthday is only a few days away...

Which means I get to renew my license, buy that expensive sticker for my plates (which, to be honest, for $50 bucks should be a cooler sticker. I mean, it doesn't blink, light up, sparkle...nothing. A $50 sticker should be way cooler. Someone fix this.) and snag the van from where it is parked before those plates expire...

Oh, and crickets, I thought. I really need to buy more crickets to feed the frogs...
Without the slightest hesitation, I pulled into the school and parked right next to the sign that reads:

 

With a smirk, I said, "Hop off, kiddo. This is your stop."

Because for $86 dollars and online school in a building, I can drop him off wherever I please.

I'm such a rebel.

Was your morning as glamorous as mine? What made you twitch?
Tell me in the comment section below and I'll give one lucky blog reader a $5 Amazon gift card.
Smoochiewoochies, dah-links.

Tanks...

So, Damon Salvatore and I had been fighting bad guys. Through amazing skillfulness and luck, we managed to beat the bad guys. Then, he showed me to a shower like none I had ever seen before. It had jets of water coming from every direction and I was washed in steam the moment I stepped in.

Great shower.

So, I came out, still damp from the shower and Damon was sprawled, naked of course, across the most gorgeous bed that I had ever seen. With a cockeyed grin, he gestured for me to join him. Before I could, a wet, cold nose jabbed me in the chin followed by a canine whine.

Tank.

Tank isn't really the dogs name. But we met in a very unusual way. When I moved to my current home, I was still working in an office about an hour away and I had to get up crazy early (4am) to get to work.

One morning, my kids headed out the door ahead of me and immediately started squealing. "Oh, look at the cute little puppy!"

Me-huh?

And then a St. Bernard plowed out of the darkness and into my living room.

SIT! I remember howling. And, obediently, the enormous animal plopped on his haunches.

Since that long ago morning, I learned that Tank (as we called her...not her real name) lived on the next farm over. Tank had an invisible fence.

Sometimes Tank decides she is going to come see us...check how we are doing... collect some love from my kids and she doesn't give a rats ass about the invisible fence when she decides any of this.

Now Tank occasionally comes down. We call her owner to let them know she has come down. She visits for a bit and he comes to collect her.

So, probably I should have expected that she was about due for a visit.

Still...uh, DAMON, people.

*sigh*

And ohmahlord that shower...

Happy Writing!!