How college killed my #Thanksgiving joy

So, everyone is all, "It is almost Thanksgiving! You know what that means, right?" Uh, sure I do. It means that someone will make a turkey. I will eat the turkey. I will have a turkey coma. Maybe someone will tell me that I didn't burn the pie (which I totally did) and people will give me hugs. No pilgrims will be at any meal I attend and I will have some quality time to fight with my children. Why fight? Uh, toothpaste and hair brushes mostly. Maybe the occasional wail of, "But I hate wearing button down shirts, Mom!"

Still, that's good times and all. But I'm not jumping up and down or anything. So, people mention, when I'm not all rainbows and unicorns, "But it is almost Black Friday! Aren't you excited?"

Well, no, actually. I'm a broke single mother of three kids trying to prepare for Christmas. The fact that I could get a flatscreen for $300? Not thrilling. I don't have $300 to blow on a TV. You do? That's great. I've heard the lines at 4am aren't bad. Have fun with that freezing your behind off standing in those lines and don't drop the TV, ok?

"So, Virg, if you're not excited about Thanksgiving or Black Friday, what ARE you thinking about?"

Uh, this.

Funny Things Kids Say - Thanksgiving 2012 Edition

Doing a fact check with the kids, because someone on facebook didn't want Lincoln spoiled for them (No spoilers, because...well, they wanted to be surprised by the ending...) we got into another one of our funny things kids say conversations.

When I asked my daughter who won the Revolutionary War, her answer was, "Who was that one between again?"

*headdesk*

Well, who won the civil war?  Other daughter answered...
"The bluecoats!"  Who were? "Um...the Americans?"

Apparently we've a bit of history to work on with the kids. It seems to take awhile for it to stick...
Why do we celebrate Thanksgiving?

"The pilgrams celebrated finding the new world!"
So they just got to the new world and threw a party?
"After a long journey and cold harsh winters that killed a bunch of people, they met Indians who taught them how to hunt, grow food and survive.  They were so thankful for this, they tried to convert the Indians to Christianity and built a villiage and were thankful so they threw a feast.
Me- Christianity?
Ash-Yeah, they wanted them to believe in one god rather than thousands of gods because it's less confusing to have just one so the Indians killed that guy with a poisoned arrow.
Me- What guy?
Ash- I read it in Social Studies weekly.  I don't remember what guy, but he made them mad. Drake!  Drake the Savage Sea Dog!  He was told to plunder places by Queen Elizabeth so he tried to get them to switch to Christianity so they killed them.

Dad- I don't think Sir Frances Drake had a thing to do with Thanksgiving.

Shell- Pumpkin pies and poison darts...

Dad- What was Sir Frances Drake the first Englishman to do?
Ash- Circumnavigate the world.
Dad- Forget all the poison darts stuff and remember that.

Dad... but what is circumnavigate?  Is it the same thing as circumcise?
Ash- No. 

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Thanksgiving...

So it is that time of year again. It is time to give thanks for the things we should be grateful for each and every day and yet we are too bogged down by the ordinaryness of life to see. The three things I am most grateful for are pictured here... They are also the three things that motivate most of my choices. Not bad motivations. Pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself.

Last night the tooth fairy forgot to come. We think it was a combination of factors. David and I had a serious discussion this morning as to the possible reasons she totally missed the house. For one, we aren't home. House sitting. That alone is enough to throw off a fairy. Then he lost it really late. Like later than he should have been up on a school night late. So probably the work order wasn't on her desk when she went out on her runs. Then on top of all that he put it on the coffee table. Everyone, and I mean everyone knows, the acceptable placement for a lost tooth is beneath your pillow.

When given these logical, and quickly determined on a coffeeless brain, reasons, my exceptionally logical son nodded briefly and said, "I knew it was something. Knew you would have figured it out. Thanks, Mom."

Disaster averted. And another cool moment in David history. David is the guy that at the age of four looked at his little hand and asked me what the wrinkles were. When I came up with they were creases and where his hand bent, this wasn't good enough for David. He then nodded to himself and said, "Nevermind. I know. It is where God stitched me up when he was done making me." He is the kid in the backseat of my car discussing half-sibling-ness with his half brother and determining they have two different dads. Before I could intervene with a "You are raised together" speech, David said, "The other half is friend."

He is the kid who reads his math homework and if the story problem reads, "Jack had 8 lures and four slots in his tackle box. How can he divide the lures and put them in the holes evenly." David looks at me and says this problem makes no sense. I ask why. Seems pretty cut and dry to me. He shakes his head. "No, if he puts more than one in each slot, he is gonna get a hook in his finger, Mom."

But to David, the toothfairy reasoning made sense.

Children are magic. Children are more magic than I can write. A child has an unlimited capacity for love and creation and they take in all that you give and give so much more in return than you could ever ask. I am so thankful for my kids.

I am thankful, also, that they are weird little ducks. Not many kids ask what mom is reading and then tell her, "That scene drags... could there be more blood?"

Huh... well, yeah. There could be more blood.

And they are right. And not many kids make coffee because their mom is chasing a dream and they like her stories enough that whether or not she makes a dime on them... they wanna know what happens next. And if she doesn't burn the dinner... they may never know. Also, not many kids remind you to feed them... or feed you. Because they state... "Well, you shouldn't have to do it every night."

Actually, I should.

But sometimes, not all the time because they are kids and they have an XBOX and other distractions, sometimes though they look at me and just do things like that. I guess I did something at some point that made them think that was how you were supposed to treat others. So I am proud I got that bit right. I am not sure how or when I did, but they got that. And picking their noses with their tongues, but I did not teach them that trick.

So I am grateful this Thanksgiving for the three greatest, funniest, most patient... even though they argue all the time and NO SHE IS NOT TOUCHING YOU kids in the world.. Justice, David and Ashton. I love you guys. I hope all your dreams come true and that your stories have happy endings...

I will continue to do my best to give you a happy today.