Monday, September 28, 2009

Manic Monday

Another day... another dollar. Well, six hundred of them. There was six hundred dollars in my bank account this morning and I had no clue where they had come from.

I looked at the atm slip and tilted my head and tried to figure out who my mysterious benefactor might be. Court case pay off? Stimulus check direct deposit? Deciding to call the bank when it opened on a break, I headed into work, munching cheerfully on an onion bagel.

Bank error in my favor: Collect $600

I got to work and worked for two hours. I called the bank. I asked for a history of my deposits. They said cheerfully (it was a Monday. I think Officeland is run on High Octane Coffee on Monday and everyone is cheerful or at least blasted on caffeine and sounds like it.) that I had deposited the money on Thursday.

No. Really. I had not.

I asked what check I had deposited. They said they did not know. It just said check. I admitted I hated to say it but could they find out. Because, honestly, no, I had not. I do not know who had but it was not me. But if they wanted to give it to me, hey... I will take it.

They quickly advised me they would research it and call me back.

On my next break I went out and found out that:

Bank error corrected: -$600

Sigh. Well, easy come, easy go. But on the downside I would have to deposit my paycheck now. And had I spent any of that check? I would have to call the bank again.

But before I could, I had another message.

My youngest had fallen and 'maybe' broken his finger in gym, probably not, and the school had taped it to the next finger and given him an ice pack and sent him back to class and what would I like to do?

I would like to become an alcoholic but I hate the taste of strong spirits.

I did not, however, think this was the appropriate response. I called the school back and without telling them that I was already bummed because I had just lost $600 (well, I had!) and was already crabby and here they had gone and broken my baby... I asked how they had broken my baby.

I then left work (more money... can you hear the flushing noise?) and headed to Rock Creek to get the young one. An X-Ray was in order. On the way, I made that call to the bank. On 422 somewhere between Niles and Howland, I was talking to the bank teller when I noticed everyone else had gotten in the far lane. I no longer could. They had done so due to the line of police cars along side the road. The lane was still free, so I could still pass. I wondered why everyone else had gotten over.

That was when I noticed that the road was on... FIRE! There were patches of fire on the road. And I had a gas leak. Not a major one but I was driving over fire and I could smell the fire and that was probably not good and where were the police officers from the cars if the road was on fire and I was driving over it?

Oh! There they were! Up the hill... leading... Pigs??? Pigs on leashes??? Large sow like pigs not cute little piglets too. What on earth were they doing and why was the road on fire?

I did not even realize I was doing a running dialogue until the bank teller began answering me.

She was asking me where I was that this was going on... and how and why. Like I knew. I was only looking. I mean, hey. I am just the observer.

So, I got back to my kid, took him towards the hospital. But we stopped for gas. In a continuation of my random luck, he won a pack of Mentos and I won 1000 bonus Speedy Reward points when we got gas. He held up his finger and said, "I started today grounded. I went to school, was having a good day, got hurt. Then I got to go home, which is cool. Then I win Mentos. Today is a weird day." I could see his point. It sure was. For me, too.

We went to the hospital. They did not make us wait to go back. They quickly took their pics and it looked like we were going to be on time to get the other kids from MJ's.

I curled around Ash in the hospital room. We waited for his results. We crashed and fell into deep sleep. I woke with my mouth tasting like glue, looked at the clock. I realized that although I was refreshed from my nap, I was also late to get the other kids and WHY WERE WE STILL IN THE HOSPITAL.

I asked the lady in the middle that. She advised that our results just got back. She smiled. Kindly. Cheerfully. I brushed my hair out of my face and wiped the drool from my chin.

They came in. They put a splint on his (lucky again) non broken two (not one, unlucky) fingers. Off we sped and gathered the other two kids.

And in the words of the Bangles..."Its just another Manic Monday..."

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