Back in highschool, I was in the choir. Okay, busted, I was in a lot of things. I'm a bit of a joiner. No is not my favorite word. Anyway, in choir, we once sang a song made popular at the time by Cher's remake.
"If he loves you so
Its in his kiss!
(That's where it is!)"
Is it?
I kind of think so. Like so many little things in writing, this can translate to your story, too. There are literally hundreds of different kinds of kisses, some of which you've probably experienced, and in writing you can show a character's development using all interactions, even kisses.
Hundreds of kisses
Probably, you think I'm exaggerating since you're thinking of the two kisses they all kind of get lumped into when you're catagorizing. There's the platonic kiss (peck) you might bestow on a friend or family member. A quick smooch, no tongue, just a hey-how-ya-doin brushing of lips against skin. Then we have the romantic kiss...often including tongue, sometimes not, but always that little zing of electricity which makes us smile like goofy fools.
But those two big categories break down into tons of tiny ones. There's the first kiss, that almost shy invitation which may or may not be returned. There's the angry kiss, lips slanting and fighting for dominance. There's the goodbye kiss, tasting of tears and endings.
You can tell us the kiss was angry but have you shown it? In your lifetime, a kiss probably communicated more about your relationship to the person on the receiving end of it...just as their kiss tells you volumes.
Test Kisses
So, this is a real life story and shows how much publishing has taken over my brain, sadly. One drunken evening (yes, I have those, rarely) I was spending time with a guy that I'd previously dated. I proudly proclaimed that I was finally in a position mentally that I wouldn't react to him.
Fortunatly, the guy in question was wiser than I, and pointed out kissing, in general, is enjoyable.
So regardless of my emotional walls, chances were good I would find kissing pleasant. Can you, though, tell a lot about how a person feels about you from a kiss?
I really think you can. You can, even though my test was a very lame (Let's blame it on alcohol.) way to gauge the feelings involved, tell a lot about how you feel and the other person feels from just that tiny of an interaction. Are they hungry for your touch, a little breathless, hands shaking?
Probably not an indicator they don't care if they're reacting like that. Some part of them does...even if it's below the belt.
Do they 'feel' distant? Did they break from the kiss to chat about the weather?
Have you seen He's Just Not That Into You?
Building a Bridge
Nonverbal communication makes up 90% of human communcation, not verbal (according to various sources online and in some of my classes) meaning a lot is going on in just how we move, touch, and the expressions on our faces. Ditto for romance, whether on the page or in reality.
If someone is attracted to you, they touch you. I'm not talking about grinding into you like a dog in heat, although this might sometimes be the case, I'm talking about little things. Touching your arm to get your attention. Putting a hand behind your back to guide you. Even accidental touches, grazing your hand when passing something, can communicate more than any epic speech.
(the idea is supported by a study - Burgoon, J. K. (1991). Relational message interpretations of touch, conversational distance, and posture. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 15, 233-259.)
In real life, this means that if they're giving you closed body posture (arms folded together, leaning away, etc) chances are good we're back to He's Just Not That Into You territory. Are they touching you, leaning in, invading your personal space? Maybe they're telling you something more than about their vacation.
In your writing, you should show this build up, as it's part of the dance. Men shaking hands can be a sign of trust. A woman who laughs and touches your arm without noticing she's doing it may be signalling, even if she doesn't mean to, attraction.
Making that kiss all the more powerful.
So, is it in his kiss?
Well, if it's not, perhaps you might want to have a chat.
Happy Writing!
Showing posts with label kissing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kissing. Show all posts
Monday, March 25, 2013
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
International Kissing Day

The photo to the left is of a sailor returning home and kissing a woman. Although the identities of the people in this iconic shot have been debated, no one ever said for sure who it was but it captured the nations attention due to its identifying with the feeling in the US at the time.
For International kissing day, I scoured the net (well, I clicked on a couple links. Gimme a break, here...) and found some interesting kissing facts.
"A man is far more likely to prefer sloppy tongue kisses than a woman. The added testosterone from his saliva may serve to enhance her libido over time." - The Science of Kissing
I am not sure about that one. I like me a sloppy kiss as much as the next guy.
The science of kissing is called philematology. - The Art of Kissing. 2nd ed
The term “French kiss” came into the English language around 1923 as a slur on the French culture which was thought to be overly concerned with sex. In France, it’s called a tongue kiss or soul kiss because if done right, it feels as if two souls are merging. In fact, several ancient cultures thought that mouth-to-mouth kissing mingled two lovers’ souls. - Kissing Christians: Ritual and Community in the Late Ancient Church
Okay, I like that one.
It is possible for a woman to reach an orgasm through kissing. -The Art of Kissing. 2nd ed
Really????!!
The mouth is full of bacteria. When two people kiss, they exchange between 10 million and 1 billion bacteria. - On Kissing: From the Metaphysical to the Erotic
I think I just threw up a little...
Our brains have special neurons that help us find each others lips in the dark. www.romancestuck.com
So there you have it... A bunch of random kissing facts.
I like the act better myself than talking about it...
"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." Albert Einstein
"I want a kiss to be so believable it give the reader shivers. "Laurell K. Hamilton
"And then his tongue touched mine and my soul came up my throat, and his was on his tongue, and they touched." - Virginia Nelson, Odd Stuff
:)
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