Having kids means that you gain this strange desire to protect them from everything. I don't mean the desire to wrap them in bubble wrap and styrofoam before they go outside to play, although I have felt that craving especially when one of my boys dangles far above my head seemingly by the grip of one overgrown toenail...
What I am referring to is protecting them from the world around them. Again, no, not zombie attacks but it is always good to have a plan (ours includes step 4, never catch a zombie on fire. The only thing worse than a lumbering undead devoted to munching on your brain is a flaming lumbering undead devoted to munching on your brain...). What I am talking about is the little things people do that hurt your kids emotionally.
From bullies to family members who don't realize what a dynamic role they play in a childs world to their friends who do little things that are shattering to your kid...
As a parent you want to smooth that stuff over. You want to put some kind of mental bandaid on the hurt and render them magically better somehow.
Life, though, doesn't always cooperate. No matter what you do, there are some hurts you can't fix. There are people you can't change. There are actual heartbreaks to your kids that nothing you can do will ever fix, even if you try your damndest and do everything but use the offenders as speedbumps or go slap happy on someones dumb ass.
But that is okay. Yes, I said that is okay.
Maybe someone hurts your kid with amazing regularity and blissful ignorance of the damage they are doing. Maybe it is someone you can't just eliminate from the kids memory by dumping their body in a swamp and using one of those cool light wands from Men in Black to erase them from your kids memory, once and for all. Maybe you can't play superhero and destroy all the villains in your kiddos world...
Maybe it will make them stronger. Maybe they will be more secure in the fact that you love them and always will because other people aren't willing to be there. Maybe they will learn to be a better judge of character because of todays pain...
Maybe you aren't supposed to protect them from the hurt. Maybe, just maybe, your job as a parent is just to be there, say, "I love you," and hold their hand as they go on.
I don't know if this is the end all answer to the question of pain. But it seems to be true when it comes to my kids. I am truly lucky to know such strong and clever kids as my own. And I am no longer going to make an effort to reach out to the people in their lives who don't realize how amazing they are. I am not going to sit by and watch the bus of other peoples selfishness roll over them. If they hurt, they hurt. They will get past it. I can't make it better but I can't keep pretending it isn't what it is.
That is the magic of my David. He lets me know he is strong enough to move on.
I am so super proud of that kid.
Anyway, don't be afraid to let your kids hurt was the point of this particular rant. Sometimes they need the hurt so that they can get past the issue. So that they can be strong enough to say, "Enough!"
And although I mentioned them, I didn't discuss zombies or overgrown toenails. I mentioned them. There is a difference. Truth in advertising is always a good thing...
Don't be afraid to build a dream today or live in castles in the air. :)
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